Publications
Partners
Raise your hand if you've ever felt awkward or for a lack of a better word, "unladylike", for discussing sex and sexual preferences?
I know I have. In fact, I still do. Why is that so?
Because of slut shaming.
But over more recent years, that has slowly changed.
And it's thanks to women like Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah - the Ghanaian woman looking to help women achieve their desire to have great sex.
According to CNN, Nana started her blog ten years ago with the intention to have other woman from all over the world speak about their sex lives and what they would like to get from having sex.
The blog titled The Bedroom Adventures of African Women, welcomes women to speak openly about their desires, not only because she wants them to have better sex but because she wants women to become comfortable addressing things that were previously considered inappropriate for them to speak about.
Allowing women to speak to each other about their sexuality, according to Nana, not only empowers them but allows them to take back control of their bodies.
"Within the international development discourse, whenever African women's sexual and reproductive health is mentioned, they are spoken about as vectors of disease, or the conversation is about needing to control the fertility of African women.
"This discourse leaves out so much, specifically, the importance of African women controlling their own bodies. Pleasure is connected to well-being and so comprehensive sex education is essential to a woman's full development. If you don't have control over your body, what can you really have control over?" she tells CNN.
The blog provides a platform for women to learn that they get to choose what they allow, what they want and what they don't want.
It also prepares them for a world in which women are no longer controlled by how others perceive them - it allows them to practise being in complete control of their selves.
Ghanaian singer, Maame Akua Kyerewaa Marfo, can also attest to this.
Being plus-sized and dark skin meant that she was met with many degrading comments such as "you'd be prettier if you lost weight" meant that she had started struggling with confidence issues since she was only thirteen, she told CNN.
The blog however, she says, has given her back the power of her own body and her voice and allowed her to take back her confidence.
"For me, sex positivity was thinking about how can I take this body back from everyone and make it something that I understand as desirable.
I've spent a lot of time becoming at home in my body, and I feel comfortable inviting other people into that home, but I don't want to leave my politics at the door."
"Their bodies are theirs, their sexual pleasure is theirs, and they can share it with whomever they deem they should share it with," she says.
Many others like Maame have found solace in this blog and it is creating the effect that Nana was hoping it would.
READ MORE: Why we should all follow Bonang’s "My private parts. My business" motto
"This is the kind of impact I'm interested in having," Nana says.
"It's always been a fear that people would think about Adventures as a site for titillation, and that wasn't my intention.
"Of course, in reading about sex and sexuality it's natural to get turned on, and of course we write stories that are sexy, but for me that wasn't the point. The point is women need to know they have a right to sexual pleasure."
READ MORE: The minister of tourism in Uganda compares curvy women to tourist attractions causing outrage online
Nana's blog is proof that we've come a long way since the times when women were socialised to shy away from being sexually liberated for fear of being deemed "promiscuous".
When we go back in history, there are countless women who've been subjected to bullying and harassment because of their sexuality and what they chose to do in their sex lives - from Marilyn Monroe to Monica Lewinsky to Amber Rose, women have been slut shamed for simply mentioning that they enjoy sex.
While it is entirely possible to achieve great sex with just one partner, the point is that women should no longer be made to feel bad for having (safe) sex as often they want with more than one partner, to openly speak about their sexual preferences or being proud of their high sex drive.
Sign up to W24's newsletters so you don't miss out on any of our hot stories and giveaways.
