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My concern is glamorising or demeaning natural, physical attributes. It’s one thing to gift a compliment to someone, but it’s completely patronising when words like “your thighs are on trend” in media or spoken in general conversation. WTF does that even mean?!
It’s like back in high school when I threw one of my many tantrums. I’ve never known how to receive a compliment, because my grandmother taught me that beauty is a characteristic we all attained from birth, just like being born a black female. That’s just what I am.
I was taught to smile when someone pointed out my beauty I would nod and say “thank you”; but this was really more of an “I’m aware”. No this has nothing to do with vanity. This was a strategic move my grandparents made to emphasise that we are beautiful regardless of what anyone says. Would you thank someone for pointing out that you are a female? I think not.
Back to my point. A friend of mine thought she was being polite when she once said: “You look nice, today”. I was taken aback by her need to stamp the date of my “niceness”. Why today? It made no sense to me. I’ve looked the same all year and today my niceness pleases her. No thanks; you can keep that so-called compliment.
Yes, maybe I was a little dramatic. This is nothing new though - have you read my other posts? Dramatic is my signature tone. But years later I’ve realized that this back-handed compliment really upsets me greatly. Only now the words have changed, by saying your physical characteristics are “on trend”.
You can tell me what to wear and show me where to get these items. However, please don’t tell me how to look and how I can possibly “fix” my natural attributes. This really upsets me. So my freckles/big eyes/button nose are on trend next season. But I have them right now. Should I cover them up until it’s okay to show them to the world?
I don’t understand this logic. Why should you put an expiration date on my looks? My little sister is darker than I am, and I would hate for her to be featured under #PrettyDarkSkinnedGirls. I don’t want her to be a trend. I want her to just be.
These trends don’t last and telling someone that their looks have an expiration date is really just not on.
It’s one thing to sulk over not having the latest knitted cape from Zara, it’s another to blatantly tell women that their physical attributes are not good enough, well not yet, and who knows for how long.
