From not being featured in magazines, to being shunned for portraying more prominent roles in television, movies and fashion campaigns, it’s only recently that we’ve begun to see a change. Yet, even so, body shaming of fat women relentlessly continues. For too long we’ve been living in a society that sees plus-sized women as an abomination. An a fat bride? Shock. Gasp. Horror.

And, because people often associate being fat with being unhealthy, we often see people giving newly engaged women advice about weight loss, to unwanted tips on dieting and exercise regimes.

The worst thing about this is that these comments often come from friends and family who mean well, but probably need a gentle reminder that the big day is not about them or their idea of what the perfect body is.

Here are a few ways to respond to people who think you should be scaling down for your big day:

1. Politely, but firmly remind them that it’s your body

If you’re comfortable in your skin and happy with the way you look, then the last thing you need to do is lose weight.  It’s your body and what you choose to do with it is your choice.  Losing weight should never be about losing it because it’s expected of you.

Remind this person that if you were going to lose weight, it’s because you want to do it for yourself, not for someone else.

2.  Make mention of the fact that your partner is happy with you just the way you are  

Not that it’s all about what your partner thinks, but your fiancé obviously proposed to you, the way you are, not the skinnier version of you. If he’s always accepted you the way you are, then that’s what matters most. Not some image that others think you should be projecting.  

3. Assure people that in the event that you do decide to lose weight for your wedding, you’ll ask for advice

Because dealing with unsolicited advice about your wedding planning is stressful enough. You don’t need people telling you what to eat, when to eat and how many push-ups to do. No thanks.

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