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The low-down on Muslim weddings: Part 3

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If you haven’t read the previous installments in our series, here’s Part 1 and Part 2.

It’s expected that at any wedding, there would be a ceremony to make things official and a reception to celebrate the occasion. At a Muslim wedding however, the merriments don’t end after the reception.

The photo session is an event of its own, and the bride’s move from her parents’ home to her marital home is marked with customs that some would consider unthinkable to ignore.

More on those affairs in this part of the series

Say cheese!

In many cases you’d find that right after the ceremony, all the guests gather to enjoy some cocktails and canapés while the couple and the photographer wander off to take pictures.

For most Muslim couples, if they have hopes of spending even a few moments alone, they should think again! Cousins, aunts and uncles excitedly tag along behind them - often with the assumption that no invitation is needed, and that it would only be natural for them to be un-appointed photographic directors or assistants.

The entourage then makes their way to the “gardens". This is usually seen as a must-do trip, since the surrounding areas of most local halls where receptions are held don’t offer the most visually appealing backdrop for photos. Unless, of course, the couple is aiming for a more industrial tone for their pictures.

Read more: The ultimate guide to being the best bridesmaid ever

The Arderne Gardens in Claremont and Company Gardens in Cape Town are among the most popular wedding photo shoot locations for Muslim couples, more so Cape Malay than Indian couples. On a sunny Sunday afternoon, Cape Malay bridal parties, bedecked in satin headpieces and velvet fezzes, can be found scattered across the entrance of Claremont Gardens.

Another common sight, which I witnessed personally on the afternoon of my graduation, is girls adorned in floor length evening gowns on UCT’s Jameson steps. They normally find themselves engrossed in lifting the bride’s train to prevent it from getting dirty, and her from falling.

UCT has been named the 3rd most beautiful university in the world, so I can understand that couples would consider having their pictures taken there. However, having been a student at the university for over 6 years, I must warn you about the pesky pigeons that will cheekily deposit their bodily waste when it’s least expected and most feared.

For a Muslim bride, leaving her parents to begin a new life with her husband is commonly an event fraught with tears.

Now and again, you do come across fun-loving couples that opt for more quirky photo shoot locations - and costumes to match. When I say this I am referring to the bride that pairs her wedding dress with All Stars and sunglasses, as she bites into a burger at Nando’s, or a hoender boudjie at KFC. So badass.

By the time the photographer takes the final snap, the sunlight typically begins to fade and the air becomes a bit nippy as evening approaches. This means that it would either be time for the couple to leave for a dinner reception, or the bride to return home. In some instances, the latter can be just as eventful as the former.

Time to say goodbye

For a Muslim bride, leaving her parents to begin a new life with her husband is commonly an event fraught with tears.

As the bride begins her exit, all the guests stand and chant what is known as the salawat, praises of the Prophet Mohamed. If the couple has a lunch reception, the bride travels to her new home from her parents’ home. Should they have a dinner reception, she goes directly from the hall to the lover’s nest.

The most touching embrace is probably that between the bride and her father.

She is ushered by two respected, elderly ladies from the groom’s family who are called Hajji’s because they completed the holy pilgrimage, Haj. While she steps off the stage, the ladies, dressed in white, place a fur cape over her shoulders. By the looks of what’s been gracing the runways recently, it’s evident that following this age-old tradition is right on trend.

Once the fur-clad bride has left the stage, she is met with a swarm of women who eagerly await their turn to grab her face, and plant a minimum of two kisses on each cheek. Certain women hardly know the bride but cannot resist participating in the warm (and overwhelming) ritual of embraces. The most touching embrace is probably that between the bride and her father. Sob.

In the meantime, the groom and the rest of his family await his bride at the couple’s new abode. When she arrives, she takes a seat in the bruidskamer, the couple’s stylishly decorated boudoir. A prayer is then recited to wish the couple well on their journey into marriage.

Yet again, privacy is not of the essence. The bride is accompanied by several family members, who excitedly anticipate catching a glimpse of the couple’s love-making sanctuary. I once tried gently declining a mother of the groom’s welcome to view it, but was unsuccessful. It turns out that if you’re there, you simply have to see it.

Throughout their nuptial celebrations, a Muslim couple may find themselves confined in a web of people, although that web is one of love, kindness and friendship. In spite of the lack of energy that they may feel by the end of their wedding day, they are rest assured that they will always have an uncle to phone when the TV doesn’t work or an aunty who can give the recipe for Denningvleis when they need it.

All images courtesy of MA Productions.

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