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This last week I read the tweets and comments David Bullard sent to rape survivor and gender activist, Michelle Solomon.
So did tens of thousands of other South Africans - very much in contrary to what Mr. Jeremy Gordin might have thought when he wrote his flippant, "humorous" character assassination of Solomon in defense of his buddy Bullard.
Many of the witnesses of Bullard's personal attack on Solomon echoed one of the questions he put to her in his effort to discredit not only her trauma, but also her work: If she was raped, why didn't she report it?
Well I was raped and I did report it. And this is what happened.
One night I woke up in a field. I was lying in the mud and the rain. I didn’t know where I was. Then I realised I was stripped of my shirt and my bra and immediately every woman's nightmare became real to me.
I'd been raped.
So I went to the police. And contrary to what the Bullard brigade might think, I didn't have to have semen running down my leg for them to open a sexual assault case.
The fact that I was topless, that I had scratches and bite marks on my breasts, a black eye, bruises on my thighs and Rohypnol in my blood was more than enough for them to believe my story.
Even though I couldn't remember much at all.
So I had the rape kit done. For those of you who don't know what that entails, let me tell you:
It takes about four hours because there is much to do. A doctor inserted swabs, speculums and fingers into my mouth, vagina and anus. My hair and pubic hair was painstakingly and painfully gone over with a fine-toothed comb. My teeth were flossed.
My fingernails were scraped. Pictures were taken of every scratch and bruise while I had to lie alternatively with my legs open and on my stomach with my buttocks spread.
All the while being questioned constantly.
They do this in order to get evidence - I know that - but until you've gone through something like this, don't tell someone who woke up naked in the middle of a field, in the middle of the night, what they're supposed to feel or how they're supposed to act.
The one good thing about the examination, was that I quickly realised there was no vaginal or anal penetration. A woman knows.
But they did find a pubic hair between my back molars which indicated oral penetration. I don't know if Bullard and his cronies who claim to be experts in law know this, but legally that meant I was raped.
So yippee right? The evidence is there, DNA had been found and the bad guy would go to jail right? Right?
Wrong.
Sadly, we don't live in an episode of CSI. The backlog of unprosecuted offenders - even those with DNA evidence against them, is so mind-bogglingly huge that neither the police, the labs nor the courts can keep up with it.
And 9 out of 10 times the results are either inadmissible or inconclusive. Even when you're the 17 year-old girl who made South Africa finally take notice. Even when you named one of your rapists after they disemboweled you, just before you died in your mother's arms.
So David Bullard, I reported my rape - and this is what happened. Absolutely fucking nothing. My rapist, along with thousands of others are walking scot free. In fact, in SA, serial rapists are let out of jail almost monthly to go on and continue raping.
Am I sorry I reported my rape? No. Do I judge people who don't? No. Do I believe that a rape has to be reported for it to be considered legitimate? Hell no.
What I want to ask you, and all your self-righteous supporters is this: why do you find the fact that Michelle Solomon didn't report her rape so outrageous? Why are you so obsessed with making a rape survivor prove the grisly details of her ordeal?
Because I had proof. And it didn't help me one little bit.
So why don't you save your outrage for a damning public, an understaffed, overworked and corrupt police force, and a justice system that has its hands tied when it comes to prosecution and sentencing?
I am going to go out on a limb here and answer that question for you: It's because you're a misogynistic slut-shaming, victim-blaming product of a rape culture that's allowing this war on women, men and children's bodies to continue unabated while you try to remain relevant in a country that's had enough of you. I feel sorry for you.
Enjoy your wine.
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So did tens of thousands of other South Africans - very much in contrary to what Mr. Jeremy Gordin might have thought when he wrote his flippant, "humorous" character assassination of Solomon in defense of his buddy Bullard.
Many of the witnesses of Bullard's personal attack on Solomon echoed one of the questions he put to her in his effort to discredit not only her trauma, but also her work: If she was raped, why didn't she report it?
Well I was raped and I did report it. And this is what happened.
One night I woke up in a field. I was lying in the mud and the rain. I didn’t know where I was. Then I realised I was stripped of my shirt and my bra and immediately every woman's nightmare became real to me.
I'd been raped.
So I went to the police. And contrary to what the Bullard brigade might think, I didn't have to have semen running down my leg for them to open a sexual assault case.
The fact that I was topless, that I had scratches and bite marks on my breasts, a black eye, bruises on my thighs and Rohypnol in my blood was more than enough for them to believe my story.
Even though I couldn't remember much at all.
So I had the rape kit done. For those of you who don't know what that entails, let me tell you:
It takes about four hours because there is much to do. A doctor inserted swabs, speculums and fingers into my mouth, vagina and anus. My hair and pubic hair was painstakingly and painfully gone over with a fine-toothed comb. My teeth were flossed.
My fingernails were scraped. Pictures were taken of every scratch and bruise while I had to lie alternatively with my legs open and on my stomach with my buttocks spread.
All the while being questioned constantly.
They do this in order to get evidence - I know that - but until you've gone through something like this, don't tell someone who woke up naked in the middle of a field, in the middle of the night, what they're supposed to feel or how they're supposed to act.
The one good thing about the examination, was that I quickly realised there was no vaginal or anal penetration. A woman knows.
But they did find a pubic hair between my back molars which indicated oral penetration. I don't know if Bullard and his cronies who claim to be experts in law know this, but legally that meant I was raped.
So yippee right? The evidence is there, DNA had been found and the bad guy would go to jail right? Right?
Wrong.
Sadly, we don't live in an episode of CSI. The backlog of unprosecuted offenders - even those with DNA evidence against them, is so mind-bogglingly huge that neither the police, the labs nor the courts can keep up with it.
And 9 out of 10 times the results are either inadmissible or inconclusive. Even when you're the 17 year-old girl who made South Africa finally take notice. Even when you named one of your rapists after they disemboweled you, just before you died in your mother's arms.
So David Bullard, I reported my rape - and this is what happened. Absolutely fucking nothing. My rapist, along with thousands of others are walking scot free. In fact, in SA, serial rapists are let out of jail almost monthly to go on and continue raping.
Am I sorry I reported my rape? No. Do I judge people who don't? No. Do I believe that a rape has to be reported for it to be considered legitimate? Hell no.
What I want to ask you, and all your self-righteous supporters is this: why do you find the fact that Michelle Solomon didn't report her rape so outrageous? Why are you so obsessed with making a rape survivor prove the grisly details of her ordeal?
Because I had proof. And it didn't help me one little bit.
So why don't you save your outrage for a damning public, an understaffed, overworked and corrupt police force, and a justice system that has its hands tied when it comes to prosecution and sentencing?
I am going to go out on a limb here and answer that question for you: It's because you're a misogynistic slut-shaming, victim-blaming product of a rape culture that's allowing this war on women, men and children's bodies to continue unabated while you try to remain relevant in a country that's had enough of you. I feel sorry for you.
Enjoy your wine.
Follow Women24 on Twitter or like us on Facebook.
