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I waited an entire week to put my thoughts about Senzo Meyiwa’s untimely passing on paper. I kept hoping that if I procrastinated long enough, my feelings about the whole thing would change. A week has passed, and if anything, I feel even more passionate about my stance.
I’ll admit to my ignorance; I didn’t know of, nor care much for the late Meyiwa until I read of his passing on Twitter. His brutal murder echoed in my mind for the next coming days and I became depressed.
You'd expect me to be desensitized by violence considering how prevalent it is in our country, but if you'd lost your father to five gunshot wounds during a robbery, then you'd empathise. But there was another reason why I was so troubled: How the media chose to report on the story.
"Meyiwa is survived by his three children, his wife and his girlfriend Kelly Khumalo". I was flabbergasted when I read this on a local tabloid – the sheer crassness displayed made me embarrassed that I was a journalist.
Yet I was intrigued by that sentence. Who was this unidentified "wife"? Was she aware of her husband's tasteless affair?
Why wasn’t she as significant as her late husband’s concubine? It wasn’t long until I was reminded that Meyiwa was the same footballer whose wife (Mandisa Mkhize) had been attacked by Khumalo and her sister.
As though that ordeal wasn’t horrific enough for her, she now had to grapple with knowing that her husband had been killed while out philandering. I made the mistake of mentioning this on social media and was verbally abused.
The more the details of that fateful night emerged, the more my heart bled for Mandisa. I couldn’t begin to imagine what she was going through – not only did she lose her husband (a man she’d known since 2005) and the father of her children; but her life was now under unyielding public scrutiny because of the shame he had brought to her.
Everyone waited with bated breath for her reaction, but she remained calm and graceful; much to the dismay of the press. I was in awe. I wondered what would possess any man to wander with such a woman by his side but alas! I am in no position to comment on the dynamics of their marriage.
That doesn’t stop me from having an opinion about Kelly Khumalo, who unflinchingly made the decision to pursue a relationship with a married man - parading herself in an opportunistic fashion long after the details of Meyiwa’s shooting surfaced and bad-mouthing Mandisa.
I would’ve been ashamed to show my face in public, let alone speak to the media.
And as Mandisa tries to pick up the pieces, I can’t help but say a silent prayer for her and her children. I pray that God gives her the strength to conquer what she has had to endure, long after the hype has subsided.
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