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I was shocked by her response because the one word that came out of her mouth that struck me was ‘emotional’. To me, being emotional was a common side effect when people discussed any form of discrimination, be it racism, sexism or privilege.
I have never witnessed people discussing discrimination while looking or sounding stoic.
I also wondered whether it was possible to really have honest conversations about discrimination without certain feelings bubbling up inside of us since discrimination is so personal in its very nature and not just simply register in our lives as a “social construct” the way we learn in books.
The reality is that discrimination is in its various forms emotional. It affects us and then it angers us, it saddens us, it hurts us, it causes anxiety, and even despair. So it was difficult to be chastised by a peer for being emotional about my experiences, and I believe, other people’s experiences.
I cannot understand and I refuse to understand why I shouldn’t be emotional about my pain – I mean pain is emotional.
Read more: I’m tired of talking about racism
When I was younger, I thought that everyone in the world was equal, although I was aware that women were treated worse than men simply because they were women. Hello #sexism.
Hello #genderpaygap. Then I still thought the world was my oyster and I could achieve everything I wanted to achieve if I worked hard.
As a 21 year-old university student, who was introduced to the ‘real world’ only three years ago I am still dealing with these realities. As a young black woman I have more forces against me than forces in favour of me.
As a black women I am aware that I am not only the least valued human being, but that my dark skin makes me even less important in comparison to my fellow light-skinned sista. Hello #colourism.
It is even worse to comprehend that my fellow black men have a harsh attitude, and a lack of love for own of their own race, and deem women of another race to not be better and prettier than us #misognoir.
It is upsetting to realise that when people look at me, my race is my primary identity and that my personality and my character are only secondary.
It was painful to realise after a year, that my white friends held stereotypical views of black people including how they believed that most people are entitled and that black people have it easier because of BEE.
It was also difficult to allow myself to trust my other friendships with white people as I feared that they were like my former white friends. To top it off, it is a lot worse to not be understood as to why these things make me emotional when I talk about them with a fellow peer.
So I am emotional about racism, sexism and privilege and I am not ashamed about my emotional response to these prejudices. As Dr Iman Michelle Scott said “We are ridiculed for being angry.
We are pressured to quietly pacify our pain. We are mocked for being victimised. We are urged to ‘forgive’ in the face of incessant wounding. Our hearts hurt. Our souls weep. And our minds whisper. Stay woke. Still rise”.
I will see them. I will think about them. And I will feel these prejudices.
Read more:
Racism on the runway: Marc Jacobs upsets with dreaded white models
Honour killings: why men kill female family members
