A series of good decisions can literally save your life because in 2018 we find ourselves in situations where you can suffer from the kind of STD we don’t talk about enough.

Sexually-transmitted DEBT! 

Debt, unlike talent – which Tina Fey so eloquently puts in her book BossyPants - can in fact be sexually transmitted. 

One day you’re a slay queen with stars in your eyes, next thing you’re a happy stay-at-home mom of three with six clothing and hair salon accounts, a Porsche Cayenne, and a plastic surgeon on a payment plan. 

Which all goes bottoms up if your partner decides to up and leave you to pay it all off with no settlement money and an unpaid bond that happens to be in your name. 

These things can happen when you don’t protect yourself from incurring debt from them. 

I get tested regularly. 

For everything. 

I made my GP run diagnostics because I was tired at the end of 2017 and was convinced it was either an autoimmune disease or a variety of dormant Epstein-bar viruses that could have been triggered by stress or perhaps something a-symptomatic, that I got from my ex like chlamydia… 

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I came out clean. I have nothing. I don’t even have a run of the mill sexually-transmitted disease, not even HPV. 

My life has in some fortunate sequence of events resulted in a clean bill of health.

(I mean there was that time I went to that doctor in Parys because my throat was sore and I was diagnosed with mumps AND worms but apparently that particular doctor had a proclivity to prescribing deworming medication to everyone he saw, so that’s not even a real thing) (And the time I had alopecia.) (And glandular fever) (And Vitiligo) (And Salmonella) but other than that I’m fine.  

I know I’m not alone. We’re all obsessed with our physical health. And are now also more in tune with our mental health.

So if that’s the case, why not get your credit score checked regularly? Why not learn how to invest? But most importantly, why are we not more careful about who we get into a financial bed with?

In a partnership, there may be all of this and more to consider.

The loan to pay lobola, diamond ring and honeymoon, the bond to buy a house, cost of school fees, cars etc plus data costs which I personally think is the major contributor to all household budget deficits. 

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Jokes aside, I think the problem is bigger than just our financial co-dependencies. 

And I’m talking about all relationships. You don’t have to get married to be susceptible to an STD. Especially these days when it’s more acceptable to vat-en-sit. 

There is a systemic problem of living beyond our means to sustain some kind of perception that we are paying homage to our gods of consumerism like Lord Vuitton and Holy BMW. 

When we simply cannot afford the lifestyles we want, we land up screwing ourselves into debt and getting sick with an STD. 

Isn’t there a safe, DIY economic masturbation of sorts that can help us get those consumerism kicks without actually getting into debt? 

Like what some millennials are doing? 

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They take pictures in borrowed clothes, stand next to cars that aren’t theirs, alluding to a life of opulence and champagne, all on a lemonade budget. 

Problem is they’re still contributing to the systemic problem of consumerism as they get out of it; endorsements, followers, validation.

Everything about them is non-committal. They have boundaries that protect their own interests. They engage in poly-amorous, low maintenance relationships and get off on lifestyle porn. 

Listen to the kids, bruh. Or make sure you know your partner’s financial status. And keep checking yours. 

Hope you find your truth!

Happy Tuesday.

Xoxo

N

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