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Heading home for Christmas is everyone’s plan this month, but it is a time of great anxiety for most queer folks in Johannesburg.
The excitement of packing your bags and driving down to the village to spend time with your family, exchanging gifts and love is nonexistent. The reality of the festive season for many queer folks in the LGBTQI community isn’t a jolly one. It is a reminder of how they have been rejected for their sexuality, while for the transgender and non-binary people, being subjected to misgendering is the worst.
READ: Navigating family as a closeted queer person during the festive season
Sinikiwe Khumalo, who hails from eSwatini, has found it difficult to connect and be around her family this month. She told City Press that in a religious and traditionalist country such as eSwatini, being a homosexual is not just frowned upon but is considered "the work of the devil and unAfrican".
Said Khumalo:
The 29-year-old was adamant that spending Christmas either alone or with friends in Johannesburg was a healthier and safer option, more so for her own mental well being.
She said:
Les, a 22-year-old who grew up in Centurion and has family in KwaZulu-Natal, agreed with Khumalo. Les said she's never comfortable around her family and always felt like an outcast.
A self-proclaimed "non-traditional person" she said she was different and shared how her family was not only unable to relate to her, but also misunderstood her.
She now celebrated Christmas with her chosen family in Johannesburg.
READ: Safe spaces for the queer community
"Seeing how they've treated other members of the family for being queer has made me uncomfortable and as a non-traditional person I feel like I never want to go back home," Les explained. "Christmas for me is coming together with friends, having a picnic in the garden, without any judgement or questions about who or what I am," she said, adding, "[staying away] is the best decision I have made for myself."
On 21 March 2023, Uganda passed a deeply bigoted anti-gay bill that sought to further criminalise and dehumanise LGBTIQ+ people in the eyes of the law. People who identify as gay in Uganda risk life imprisonment.
Madeleine, who usually went to Uganda during the holidays, said she was sadden by Anti-Homosexuality Bill that was passed.
She said:
READ: The fight for LGBTIQ+ rights in Uganda
Despite the challenges, there are organisations and individuals who have taken it upon themselves to create a Christmas table for lonely queer people. People from different walks of life come together to celebrate Christmas in Johannesburg. This is for members of the LGBTIQ+ community who will be alone or cannot go home for whatever reason over Christmas.
Numerous people in the LGBTIQ+ community and outside have willingly created the Christmas tables for those who are lonely and this has been happening for years.
Sizakele Phohleli, known as Her Mentality, will be hosting the Queers on Christmas table, a "bring and share picnic" at a park only for those who RSVP. This is being done for their safety.
She said the purpose of this table was to make people feel seen. "It's all about belonging to a community, no one should be alone [this time of the year]," Phohleli explains.
