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With jacaranda trees now in full bloom and the adorable petals carpeting streets and driveways, everyone and their dog have been posting pictures of these wondrous sights on their social media accounts.
The other day, while jogging in my hood I impulsively took a route I don't normally use. My impulsive act was beautifully rewarded. Almost the entire street was carpeted in jacaranda petals which made a pleasant popping sound as my running shoes stepped on them. I had to slow down and savour every breath of the alluring aroma.
Unfortunately, this blissful and inspiring moment was wrenched from my senses by a sudden rude and raucous noise. A horrendous ruckus that I immediately recognised as a fight between two hadedas. I looked up to see two of these repulsive birds fighting it out just ahead of me, screeching and squeaking, feathers flying as they tore into each other.
The sudden appearance of this pair of hadedas reminded me of my infernal hatred for these birds which tend to thrive in the northern suburbs of Johannesburg. For some reason they make their presence felt at the height of the beautiful spring season, when flowers are blooming and trees are smiling greenly at us.
When I was growing up in KZN, and we went chasing birds with our slingshots in a veld which sprawled on the periphery of our township, one bird species that we enjoyed killing were Indian mynahs, followed by hadedas.
We hated mynahs because not only are they ugly, but they eat absolutely anything. We hated the hadedas, which are called amankankane in isiZulu, not only because they are ugly, but they make that horrible noise which one does not associate with a bird. Some people even believed hadedas were the birds of abathakathi, specialists in evil spells.
READ: Joburg residents swoop to the rescue of Hadeda 'Cupid' after bird shot with an arrow
In fact, when you look closely at them - yes, we used to kill them and then analyse their carcasses - you can see that this bird is not from this earth. It looks alien. It looks evil.
I cannot reconcile the ugliness of the hadeda with the breathtaking beauty of, say, the loerie, or the very pulchritudinous weaver. The hadeda is an insult to ornithology. Like the mynah which I have hated since I was a kid, the hadeda eats almost anything.
I recall, for example, that some years ago when I was unemployed and the money was short I couldn't afford to fix my swimming pool. The motor broken, my pool turned a scummy green and became a haven for mosquitoes and many other creatures. Prominent among these insalubrious creatures were tadpoles. Tadpoles, my dear urban friends, are disgusting tiny creatures that are found in stagnant water. If left alone, tadpoles grow into frogs.
Having grown in a township which had many instances of stagnant water, I was very familiar with tadpoles and I hated them. Now they were in my swimming pool.
In utter dismay and helplessness, I watched them grow every day. The wife was disgusted, and acted as if it was my fault that we had these creatures in the pool, as if these tadpoles were my cousins.
When I finally was able to fix my pool, and the hadedas came for their feast, I chased them away. Little did I realise that I had myself enemies. A few days later, I was inside the house when I heard the unmistakable call of a hadeda. The call was taken up by another one. And another one. Soon, my yard was vibrating with a cacophoniy of hadeda voices.
I ran outside, clapping my hands and shouting obscenities at the disgusting birds. Then I juddered to a halt when I saw what these birds were doing. They were tearing apart my flowers, uprooting the tubers, and generally trashing the garden.
I picked up a stick and gave chase. They took off, laughing raucously at me. I am sure they were laughing. Hahahahaha!
When, a few days later, I told my gardener about my fight with the hadedas, he said: "What did you do to offend them. They keep a grudge, those birds."
I felt my skin tingling with fear. A bird that keeps a grudge! That is evil.
At any rate the hadedas finally got tired of harassing me. They stopped coming. My pool and garden were too clean for them.
Then last year i planted strawberries. When they came to fruition, and the fruit started ripening, the hadedas came back. They made it a point that I was around the house before they did what they had come to do.
With a vengeance that would have impressed the July 2021 rioters, they trashed my strawberry patch nice and good. I came out of the house and gave chase. They took off, laughing devilishly, their huge wings making thunderous noises.
Now that my strawberries have fruited once again, I have this sense of foreboding, this nightmarish fear that these creatures - that's what they are, they are not birds! - will be back.
So, while you are enjoying spring, and posting Instagram pictures of jacarandas and roses, keep me in your prayers.
Hadedas, please stay away!
