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Despite the constitutional strides made in South Africa to recognise homosexuality as innate or inborn state of being and in spite of many significant triumphs of the LGBTIQ+ community, discrimination and oppression directed at the rainbow community are still deeply entrenched within the fabric of society.
Such discrimination has made it difficult to acknowledge and address the intimate partner violence (IPV) and sexual abuse among LGBTIQ+ people.
While IPV has traditionally been framed within the heterosexual context, little attention has been paid to the prevalence of partner abuse, barriers for survivors seeking help and the quality of the available assistance for the LGBTIQ+ community.
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However, there is a lack of research regarding the power inequalities and abuse, particularly in same-sex relationships. This silence is partly related to the structure of our society which is predominantly organised along patriarchal, homophobic and heteronormative lines.
The damning allegations made by Mohale Motaung recently against his estranged husband Somizi Mhlongo, painted a grim picture of how IPV among homosexual couples remains an overlooked secret of war.
While a thorough investigation ought to be done to scrutinise the serious allegations levelled against the socialite and TV star, a great deal of effort is also needed to address the abuse and violence among homosexual partners.
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Regrettably, the heteronormative structure of society has created a hostile environment to vigorously deal with the social stigma experienced by the LGBTIQ+ community. Coupled with the further stigma associated with IPV, this makes homosexuals even more hesitant, not only to report and share experiences of partner abuse but also to self-identify as members of LGBTIQ+ community.
Of course, I am not suggesting that Mohale is an innocent bystander in this abuse phenomenon as there are always two sides to every story and the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle.
Though Somizi has vehemently denied the abuse allegations, I applaud Motaung for fearlessly speaking up about his alleged abuse. I am saying this because there are a lot of silent homosexual men who are the victims of IPV. And these episodes of partner violence in the LGBTIQ+ community are not clearly understood and conceptualised. They, to varying degrees, appear mostly as rumours disguised in a disparaging humour, swept under the carpet and seldom reported.
As a result of the increased homophobia, alienation, rejection within families and in society and a lack of confidence in the sensitivity and effectiveness of the law enforcement officials to handle the LGBTIQ+ cases, IPV is usually dismissed and denied by the perpetrators and the victims.
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A desire to avoid stigma and prejudice further silences homosexual men from speaking about their experiences of sexual abuse. This contributes to a lack of support.
Central to IPV is the economic power used to maintain control over an intimate partner. Alcohol and related substance abuses also play a significant role which exacerbates the scourge of partner abuse in the LGTBIQ+ relationships.
Lack of comprehensive research, supportive programmes, discussions and engagements around IPV within the homosexual community makes it difficult for individuals to access support and services. This also plays a pivotal role in perpetuating the stigma, hatred, self-loathing, shame and denial.
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As homosexuals are subjected to homophobic violence, rape and brutal murder almost every day, no one thinks such a vicious scourge could occur to them. But given the consistent and societal discrimination against homosexuals, self-hate, excessive substance abuse to extricate themselves from homophobia, intra-psyche pressures and violence in such environment is inevitable.
From time to time, as a society we fail to understand why it is so difficult for homosexual partners to report partner abuse. It is important to stress that the issue is much deeper than the partner violence. Members of the LGBTIQ+ have been placed in a very difficult position since they are told that their being is unAfrican or that God hates them.
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They face isolation from society, families and the religious community. Their existence has been described as nothing but a crime against human nature and God. They strive to live with heteronormative value systems that do not acknowledge their sexual orientation which leads to frustration, hostility, resentment and violence.
Hence the violence within this community should be clearly articulated and contexualised as it involves different factors. Most importantly, we should look broadly at the root causes.
In their collaborative article Home affairs: rethinking lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families in contemporary South Africa, Gabriel Khan and Yolan Moodley, unequivocally state that IPV is often sidelined within LGBTIQ+ community in favour of more readily accepted issues such as bullying or coming out.
In the South African context, where brutal hate crimes against members of the LGBTIQ+ community are a regular occurrence, violence is often conceptualised sorely in terms of homophobia perpetuated by the heterosexuals as a way to exert power and push sexual deviance. Such a limited understanding of the violence and its impact on the LGBTIQ+ lives is, of course, highly problematic.
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The recognition and acknowledgement of the problem is necessary but never sufficient. We need a complete overhaul to address this phenomenon and bring diverse groups into the conversation. We need to work together to ensure that there are accessible and inclusive programmes in our communities, on television and radio to meet the unique needs of the survivors.
It is paramount for government to collaborate with the LGBTIQ+ community on the issue of IPV. It is also necessary for the allies as the community cannot solely address this and other issues on its own. The responsibility for safety, equality and accessibility to protection for all the survivors, rests with society as a whole.
Stanley Ncobela is a lecturer and columnist
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