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- A true-crime documentary shows how a conman lured women into giving him thousands of dollars.
- Many viewers have victim-shamed the women, saying they shouldn't have trusted him.
- But according to a SA psychiatrist, the man could be a psychopath – and no one is 'immune'.
Netflix’s latest binge tells the true story of how an Israeli man scammed women out of thousands of dollars after meeting them on Tinder, the popular global app for meeting new people.
Since its release, viewings have skyrocketed, and thousands of people are talking about how the victims of his crimes were “gullible”, “naive”, and even “gold diggers”.
But the "Tinder Swindler" aka Simon Leviev (whose real name is Shimon Hayut), used exploitative tactics to get what he wanted, and one can't just assume that the women should have known better, says psychiatrist professor Renata Schoeman, Head of the MBA Health Care Leadership programme at the University of Stellenbosch Business School.
Leviev’s tactics, Schoeman says, are indicative of psychopathic behaviour. She explains: “It’s enormously difficult to catch a psychopath in the act. They are pathological liars and purposefully deceive people to conceal their modus operandi. They strategically plan their deceitful stories and use their superficial charm to get one addicted, leaving you doubting your valid suspicions and ending up as the victim.”
Lack of empathy
Psychopaths lack empathy and won’t let anything stand in their way of pursuing what they want. Said Schoeman:
If you believe that something like this could never happen to you, Schoeman says one can never be too confident.
“Many will claim that something similar could never happen to them, yet cases such as these are not as uncommon as we think,” she says.
Some psychopaths can even manipulate and trick their therapists, Business Insider previously reported.
Psychopaths in the workplace too
In this context, we may assume psychopathic behaviour as being reserved for romantic encounters, but psychopaths are all around us and they aren't all criminals. We may even find some of them in the workplace, says Schoeman. In fact, studies have shown how psychopaths at work can have a lasting negative impact on their co-workers and employees.
Said Schoeman:
Leviev displayed classic signs of a psychopath, including deceit, manipulativeness, superficial charm, lack of empathy, a lack of remorse, and a “grandiose sense of self”.
The Tinder Swindler was also good at covering his tracks for a long time before his victims caught up with him – another characteristic of psychopaths.
“Leviev is obviously a charismatic man who knows just when to turn on the charm and when to display what appears to be genuine vulnerability,” said Schoeman, adding:
Successful psychopaths, Schoeman said, have the ability to tactically assess the psychological strengths and weaknesses of people around them, and to manipulate others to bond with them. They do this by feeding them with carefully crafted messages and build and maintain control of those they manipulate, and abandon them when they are no longer useful.
Protect yourself
If you want to protect yourself from falling prey to a psychopath’s lies and deceit, it’s best to educate yourself about their typical characteristics.
Psychopaths generally have superficial charm, a sense of entitlement, an incapacity to show love or remorse, display impulsive and reckless behaviour, have a need to immediately impress those that they meet, and have sudden rages when you disappoint or go against them, says Schoeman.
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