Publications
Partners
Where to watch: Netflix
Cast: Gina Rodriguez, Zachary Levi, Connor Esterson, Everly Carganilla, D.J. Cotrona, Billy Magnussen
Our rating: 1.5/5 Stars
When the children of the world's greatest secret agents unwittingly help a powerful Game Developer unleash a computer virus that gives him control of all technology, they must become spies themselves to save their parents and the world.
Spy Kids (2001) is one of the earliest films I remember watching, and as an impressionable child, it had quite an impact on me. The film did what it wanted to do - instil a desire to be a spy into young minds. The gadgets, suits, and futuristic vehicles were all a marvel to me. Then Robert Rodriguez followed up the film with a strong sequel, The Island of Lost Dreams and an even stronger threequel, Game Over. Scenes from that initial trilogy, which featured Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara, are branded into my brain. I have a deep nostalgia for the franchise, so I went into the latest instalment, Spy Kids: Armageddon, with marginal curiosity and came out with thorough disappointment. Rodriguez has lost his King Midas touch for child espionage films.
Spy Kids: Armageddon is not the first time that the Spy Kids franchise has experienced an attempted rejuvenation. Spy Kids: All the Time in the World attempted to lure audiences into cinemas with their cheap "4D" gimmick. The fourth dimension was scent, where audiences were given a postcard to sniff at particular times in the movie. Rodriguez came up with the innovative idea after smelling the diaper of Jessica Alba's baby. The new Spy Kids doesn't have any gimmicks like 3D or immersive smells; it gets a plain treatment through streaming on Netflix. Without the wacky cinema tricks to distract you, the theatrical emptiness of Armageddon becomes woefully clear.
The film follows the new spy kids, Antonio and Patricia, as they set out to save their parents and, by extension, the world. The family must recover a powerful piece of technology that a rogue game developer has obtained. The film hits all the check marks of the original film in terms of backstory and exposition. It also reads like a greatest hits of the original trilogy, and it has the skeleton of the debut film; the spy kids travel to a mysterious and dangerous island just like the second movie, and their world is taken over by a video game, just like the third movie. The film is piggybacking off of the past successes and nostalgia of the franchise.
Problems with the film start with how it looks; the set design and special effects create a hollow and bland feeling. The sets feel too spacious and lack believable detail. Audiences are immediately put into the action through the opening sequence. We see the spy kids in the throes of a high-stakes mission, with the context for the scene only coming at the end of the film.
What also becomes evident in the opening scene is that the child actors, Connor Esterson and Everly Carganilla, are both exceptional actors. Carganilla brings an animated expressiveness to her performance that is impressive. The duo actually outshine the more prominent actors in the film, Gina Rodriguez and Zachary Levi. While Esterson and Carganilla give performances bursting with energy and eagerness, Rodriguez and Levi are clearly phoning it in.
The pacing of the film is too fast and, at times, clumsy. It shuffles through its scenes at such a breakneck momentum that it becomes difficult to take everything in. The way the plot develops also feels unsatisfying; there's weak set-up and minimal pay-off, and the plot twist feels low-effort. The jokes in the film are mostly duds, but there are a few comedic winners sprinkled in the script.
Spy Kids: Armageddon tells the tale of a family overcoming its challenges. The parents learn to be transparent with their children and find an extraordinary work-family balance. The children mature, too, as they learn to fend for themselves. They also learn the value of kindness and finding alternatives to violence. Antonio and Patricia also create an interesting character contrast. While Antonio believes in the forceful and deceitful ways of the spy organisation his parents belong to, Patricia shows that there are other ways to solve problems without explosions and punching.
Armageddon feels like Robert Rodriguez fed all the Spy Kids films into an AI bot and asked it to make a new film. It lacks soul and character and generally feels quite sterile. Though I'm not the young boy I once was - who was blown away by the original trilogy - I can't see how Armageddon could inspire any child. In terms of an entertainment product, this film fails to come close to the levels of fun of the original trilogy - it's so generic and boring. Perhaps the Spy Kids franchise should have stayed a relic of the early 2000s, when its kitschy aesthetics made more sense. Today, the franchise is struggling to adjust to a new era.
WATCH THE TRAILER HERE:
