Are platonic non-mutual friendships appropriate when married?

• A viral TikTok video sparked a conversation about heterosexual, married people having friends of the opposite sex.
• An expert shared a list of things to consider if you feel jealous or worried about your partner's opposite-sex friendships.
• Open and vulnerable conversations are encouraged if someone feels insecure or threatened.

Speaking about a trending topic, Isiah Carey of Isiah Uncensored on Fox 26 shared how a married man recently drew a line in the sand about platonic friendships with the women in his life. 

He said that if his wife doesn't know them, they should "just lose his number." 

"I have a very strict rule when it comes to female friends, and that is, if you are not my wife's friend, then you are not my friend. If this woman is not my wife's friend, then it means that we have a relationship that, to some degree, my wife is not aware of. Tell me if that sounds appropriate for a married man?" he said while explaining the rationale behind his thinking. 

Carey invited Dr Angela Jones, a therapist and sex expert, to chat about this along with two people named Chastity and Bruce, who are casually dating. 

Bruce began by highlighting how people have situational friendships, like friendships developed at work and said that it was not rational to want those friendships to end based on the abovementioned grounds. 

Bruce also mentioned that insecurity plays a role in how people feel about their significant other's friendships. 

He also highlighted the importance of knowing not to cross the line. 

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"I don't like the term 'allow' because we're adults. I feel as though effective communication is important... I'm not insecure, I'm a very secure woman, so I don't generally question any platonic friendship because they could have been established long before I came along."

She added that she felt the friendship dynamic was the most important thing to be aware of so that you can determine how to feel about the situation and navigate it. 

Weighing in on the conversation, Dr Jones said it is important to interrogate why you may feel negatively about your partner's friendships. 

She added that if the feelings are linked to past trauma, it is essential to acknowledge and heal from it before stepping into a new relationship. 

Dr Jones also said there was no need to become best friends with your significant others' friends either. All that needs to happen is for the couple to work on treating those friends the same way they treat all their other friends. 

Lastly, she said a partner being open and honest about their friendships is a green flag. She advised seeking therapy if insecurities persisted, even in such instances.