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Are you an empath? An expert explains how to tell and why you need strong relationship boundaries

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Getty Images.
Getty Images.
Roo Lewis
  • Every now and then, you want to pour into your partner to help uplift them.
  • However, when you begin putting your needs last and your partner's first, it becomes a problem.
  • Dating coach and relationship expert Thalia Ouimet weighs in on how you can be an empath in a relationship with strong boundaries.

Love is great because you always have an anchor and confidant to help you navigate life's toughest circumstances. However, for this to work, there needs to be reciprocation in a relationship. So, when one person overly compensates in the relationship, it can lead to resentment and ultimately end the relationship. New York dating coach and relationship expert Thalia Ouimet weighs in on how being an empath in a relationship can turn into people-pleasing.


Thalia says an empath in a relationship tends to be very in tune with their partner's emotions, and they can feel everything deeply. "Empaths love hard and always put their partner's needs first, which isn't a good thing because they should be putting their needs first."

READ MORE | Wife duties on a girlfriend contract? Expert explains need-to-knows of cohabitation agreements

Some noticeable behavioural characteristics of an empath in a relationship include:

1. Being highly sensitive.

2. Absorbing other people's energy.

3. Their happiness is a product of their environment.

4. They are very intuitive.

READ MORE | Experts share 3 signs you are dating the right person for you

Although being an empath is a good thing, it can become an issue that needs professional help, so it doesn't only take away from you but also allows you to build yourself up. "It can be a good thing to be an empath if you use those intuitive skills to your advantage and learn how to set strong boundaries with your partner when you need time to recharge." 

Often the line between being an empath and a people pleaser gets blurry and leaves you feeling like you're pouring from an empty cup. "People-pleasing tendencies can make an empath feel empty at the end of the day, but one has to learn how to set boundaries and honour those boundaries."

READ MORE | Think you might be dating a 'vulnerable narcissist'? Look out for these red flags

How is being an empath in your relationship affecting you? Tell us your story here.


Should you find yourself in this position, services are available to master this good trait. Thalia suggests one of these is hiring a life coach and working on your patterns. "We call this shadow work, and people-pleasing tendencies are hard to break, and it's much easier when you have someone holding you accountable. Anyone can change their people-pleasing habits, but it takes time and self-awareness." In summary, while working on yourself, you shouldn't lose sight of this great trait and always use these three steps:

- Put your feelings first.

- Then, have empathy for others.

- Have strong boundaries.


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