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- We often hear the term 'shoot your shot'.
- However, taking that risk may come with rejection.
- Experts weigh in on how to prepare yourself to deal with rejection and avoid self-criticism.
When we speak about taking a chance in life, especially in dating, there is tons of advice regarding how to 'shoot your shot' and land the partner you desire.
However, while you can put a lot of effort into building the confidence to approach someone you are interested in, there is still a chance that you could be rejected. Now, the question remains, can you deal with rejection before it happens?
Experts weigh in on preparing your mind to be more optimistic about dating and avoiding self-criticism resulting in a hostile environment that ends in rejection.
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Behavioural scientist and dating coach Logan Ury enlisted the assistance of renowned psychologist and friendship expert Marisa Franco to weigh in on rejection. The pair shared that the biggest obstacle when it comes to dating isn't being rejected but the fear of being rejected. They say those who assume they'll be rejected become cold and withdrawn in response to ambiguous situations.
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One of the ways you could prepare for rejection when it comes to dating is by working on your inner voice, that self-saboteur that creates an uncomfortable dating environment.
Assume Positivity - Acceptance is a self-fulfilling prophecy. People who are told they'll be accepted come off as warm, open and agreeable. If you can approach new connections by assuming people will like you, they just might.
Create a safe space - According to risk regulation theory, people decide how much to invest in a relationship based on how likely they think they are to be rejected. The more you assume people will like you, the warmer you behave. Your warm behaviour makes people think you like them, which then makes them feel safe investing in you and the relationship.
READ MORE | Struggling to move on? Here's what you need to do after a breakup
A sense of belonging - The key to building a relationship is to focus less on ourselves and more on making other people feel like they belong. You have to be interested, not interesting.
Once you've dealt with the expectations and internal struggles of approaching someone and creating a space for them, the pair suggests going on your next date. "Before your next date, tell yourself, 'I'm going to assume they'll like me'. Feel the impact of these words on your body." As you do this, you also need to know that your inner self-saboteur may still exist, and the experts suggest responding to it, saying, "Thank you for trying to protect me from rejection, but I'm going to lean into optimism."
Sources: Instagram
