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'A temporary break from reality': 7 expert tips on a holiday fling done the right way

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What you should know before having that holiday fling
What you should know before having that holiday fling
Photo: Klaus Vedfelt/ Getty Images
  • Intimacy and relationship coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs shares what a holiday fling is and how to best prepare for this romance.
  • Be careful not to be coupled with a man who has left children and a wife behind with plans of returning to them in January.
  • "There is a sense of adventure and a temporary break from reality," she said.
  • For more lifestyle news, go to the News24 Life front page.

The festive season is a fun time when people just want to relax and have a good time. And with it comes excitement, naughty behaviour, and holiday flings. 

But before you find yourself coupled with a man who has gone AWOL (aka someone with children, a wife and plans of going home in January) or falling in love with someone who just wants company for the festive season, know what you're getting yourself into. Also, safety is a priority; while your intention might be to have a little bit of fun, your 'fling' might have other criminal ideas. 

READ MORE | No awkward silences, please -10 questions to ask on your first date

So, what is a holiday fling? We asked intimacy and relationship coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs.

"A holiday fling is a casual relationship between two (or more) consenting people, whereby they enjoy each other's company for the duration of the holiday. This relationship usually takes on the characteristics of a fun, flirty, no-strings-attached sexual relationship without promises of commitment for the future," Tracy explains.

Holiday flings aren't always planned. They unexpectedly happen. As a social media joke goes, in December, you go out in the morning to buy bread and come back home the next day to shower and change your clothes. 

Ziman said holidays are about a break from the daily humdrum of work and other commitments. "It's a short-term break from rules and time-bound restrictions that usually make us feel trapped. This is a time to relax and let your hair down; there are no curfews... There is a sense of adventure and a temporary break from reality. We become more open to new experiences that are out of our comfort zone," she added.

READ MORE | 5 relationship myths to start unlearning

Here are 7 tips when considering getting a holiday fling

1. Safety first. Do as much homework as you can on your love interest. Trust your intuition.

2. Always use protection to avoid sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies.

3. Hang out at local spots, and don't be shy to start a conversation. Look for similarities instead of differences.

4. Don't restrict yourself from having different experiences or meeting different people. 

5. Encourage your love interest to hook up with you in the comfort of your accommodation should the situation become uncomfortable.

6. Remember that this is a holiday that can't last forever, so don't book the wedding just yet.

7. Have fun and be in the moment. Don't take things so seriously. Remember, we are here for a good time, not a long time.

READ MORE | 'Our holiday romance and a bet I made in a bar led to my 23-year marriage'

Although choosing to have this kind of fun might be shunned by some, Tracy explained that relationships can be hard, and holiday romances are mostly easy. 

"There is nothing wrong with having a little bit of fun. Holidays are the best time to have that fun. As long as you are cautious about possible danger, even on holiday, you can be as carefree as you wish," she said.

"People usually shun holiday flings because deep down they, themselves, desire an experience that is free from the shackles of everyday life."

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