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- When everyone talks about getting into a relationship with a friend, they immediately think of success.
- However, this kind of relationship has challenges that should be discussed more.
- Going from being just friends to lovers in a healthy way requires special manoeuvring.
When you think of shows that shaped our childhood perceptions of relationships, like 'Half and Half', you realise that the idea of being in a relationship with a platonic friend has been glorified.
In so many episodes, Mona is told to get into a relationship with her best friend, Spencer. Now, this doesn't mean it's all bad, but it made us romanticise these relationships.
Granted, some of these work; however, we should discuss the challenges of the friends-to-lovers transition more.READ MORE | 'I'm in love with my friend' - Why people catch feelings and want to move from platonic to romantic
An expert weighs in on the make-it-or-break-it points of this transition. Matchmaker and dating coach Thalia Ouimet says dating a friend can be a great idea because you have already built that foundation with that person.
"You already know each other's authentic self, the good and the bad." Thalia also adds that you risk losing a friendship in this type of relationship if things don't work out. However, the success rate is 50/50.
READ MORE | Just friends: Does 'the sex part' always ruin platonic friendships?
"There are still risks involved because getting to know someone on an intimate level is far more different than knowing them as a friend."
When you decide to date someone you have been friends with, Thalia suggests sitting down and conversing with your friend regarding your expectations in a relationship instead of romanticising the relationship's potential.
"Look out for value alignment. Ask yourself: Do we want the same things out of life?" She says once you have figured this part out and decided to begin your relationship, the transition will start and requires certain aspects to be implemented.
READ MORE | 'I'm in a platonic friendship with my ex and we bought a house together'
"My best advice for dating a friend is always to have open communication. Remember, this is a friend of yours, so why not be open and honest about your wants and desires? Both parties should have patience and empathy. Patience is also important when you are shifting from a platonic friendship to a relationship mode. Some people move at a different pace, and being respectful and patient is key to a healthy smooth sailing new relationship."
READ MORE | Would you marry your best friend? Expert shares benefits and limitations of a platonic marriage
Another aspect of beginning a relationship with your friend is reserving judgement based on each other's pasts. Because you were friends for years, you've seen each other dating other people and therefore formulated your perception of who this person is in a relationship. "It's important for the new relationship to be a judgement-free space, and the past is in the past for a reason. Moving forward, avoid discussing your partner's past relationships or comparing them."
