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- I’ve heard some really heartwarming stories of wonderful mothers-in-law.
- And while not all mothers-in-law are toxic there are some horror stories out there.
- A few women shared their mother-in-law experiences with us.
Most of us who watched the movie Monster-in-Law will never forget that scene where Jane Fonda’s character added nuts to a dish when she knew her future daughter-in-law was allergic.
It may have been funny, but it was also scary. While not all mothers-in-law are toxic, and I’ve heard some really heartwarming stories of wonderful mothers-in-law, we cannot dispute the fact that there are some horror stories out there.
READ MORE | 'My fiancé returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me'
A few women shared their mother-in-law experiences with us.
1. Not light-skinned enough
I am South African Indian, and I married a man from India. My mother-in-law did not accept me because she considered me “wild and uncultured” because I was not from India. She said I was not light-skinned enough. She would pull up my sleeves, place her arms next to mine, and ask her son to compare who was lighter skinned. When my husband and I were leaving on our honeymoon, she pulled him aside and told him to avoid being intimate with me all the time and that he should do it just once in a while.
READ MORE | Trouble with the in-laws? 5 things to do to get along with your other family
2. She tried to force me to induce labour
My in-laws came to South Africa for the birth of my daughter, and my mother-in-law was unhappy that my husband chose to be at the hospital with me when I gave birth. She felt that he would feel more connected to me if he saw me giving birth, and she didn’t want that. She knew which date I was due to give birth, but she tried to force me to induce labour so that I would give birth on a date that was considered auspicious. After our daughter was born, she insisted on sleeping in the ward with my husband and me and our baby. But I refused. She was furious with me for this.
3. "We want a grandson"
When I fell pregnant with my second baby, all hell broke loose because it was another girl, and my in-laws wanted a grandson. They were furious with me because my husband was the eldest son, and there was no heir. They told me it was my fault, and I was treated as an outcast after that. They screamed at me, said the most horrible things, and did not visit when my daughter was born.
READ MORE | What to do when your partner's family doesn't like you - 'Your happiness matters the most'
4. Her 'tradition' goes
I come from a very traditional Hindu family. I was always taught to respect my elders and not question them, even if I disagreed. My mother-in-law tends to change the rules of tradition when and how she pleases. We go on a fast a few times a week where we don’t eat meat, so if she wants me to perform a particular prayer on a day that does not fall within the usual fasting day, she would call me and tell me that she had a dream that I was doing this prayer– so I would have to fast.5. What did my son eat?
When I got married, I didn’t know my way around the kitchen. This was before you could become a chef overnight, thanks to YouTube and TikTok. My mom passed away when I was young, so she didn’t get to teach me to cook. I started buying cookbooks and would try every recipe till I mastered them.
My mother-in-law lives in another province, but she would call my husband every day to find out what he ate. Fast forward to 2022, I am definitely a pro in the kitchen, and I often receive compliments from friends and family on my cooking. If I am complimented in the presence of my mother-in-law, she always says: “I taught her everything she knows because she couldn’t do a thing when she got married. She is a good cook, thanks to me.”
READ MORE | 'My fiancé returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me'
6. What the hair?
I am mixed race. My husband is Indian. When I fell pregnant with our first child, my husband and I broke the news to my mother-in-law. The first thing she said was: “I wonder what kind of hair your baby will have.”
7. Get over the affair
My husband had an affair. My in-laws acted as if that was the most normal thing and that I was being dramatic. They told me to just get over it and stop acting like it was the end of the world. Well, for me, it was. My mother-in-law said, “Men will cheat, just accept it and stay for the sake of the kids.” We have since divorced, and I have raised three amazing sons on my own.
READ MORE | Mother-in-law drama? There are ways to deal with this challenging relationship
8. No birthday celebrations here!
My mother-in-law does not allow us to celebrate birthdays. It’s a rule she came up with because she says it’s bad luck to celebrate, so their family never has birthday celebrations. So ever since I got married, we don’t sing happy birthday or blow out candles.
We are not allowed to have birthday parties, and our kids have never had a party because my husband will not go against his mother’s wishes. I have had secret birthday celebrations with my close friends and family. We just don’t post any pictures. My mother-in-law also video calls on birthdays so that she can check that we are not having a celebration. The worst part is that I know my mother-in-law secretly allows her own daughters to have a birthday celebration, just not her daughters-in-law.
READ MORE | Groom asks bride not to wear his mom’s Valentino wedding dress. Here's why it makes him uncomfortable
9. Abuse is okay
I was engaged once. The topic of domestic violence came up during a conversation with my future mother-in-law. She told me that it was just something that women needed to put up with. She said it was part of life and something we, as women, had no choice but to live with. Needless to say, that relationship did not last long.
READ MORE | Bride upset after mother-in-law posts wedding pics on Facebook without the newlywed's permission
10. My memory, my jersey
My mother-in-law, who lives in another province, came to visit us once. When she was leaving, I asked her to drop off a jersey that I had bought for my mom, who lived in the same town as her. My mom never received the jersey, and when I asked my mother-in-law about it, she said that she could not remember me giving it to her. We looked all over and couldn’t find it.
That Christmas, we went to visit my mother-in-law – and she was wearing the exact same jersey that I picked out for my mom. I remember every detail because I bought it. But she happily told us that she had bought the jersey. I was too shocked to argue, so I just bought my mom another jersey.
