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- Suicide is on the increase each year among teenagers.
- As Suicide Prevention Week continues, parents are encouraged to check in on their children.
- It is estimated that 800 000 people lose their lives to suicide each year.
Teen Suicide Prevention Week is an appeal to parents to #CheckIn with their teens.
It is during these years that teens face hurdles, like depression, low self-esteem and bullying, which could be the catalyst for an attempt to end it all. Know the facts – don't wait until a loved one becomes a statistic.
800 000 - that is the number, according to the World Health Organisation, of people who lose their lives to suicide each year.
Teens are the most at-risk age group for suicide in SA, and 9.5% of deaths in 10- to 19-year-olds are girls.
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It's a tough pill to swallow
Nothing shakes a community like when a teenager's life is taken by suicide. While an emotional and difficult thing to think about, stronger focus around the topic will help educate parents/caregivers and their teens.
#CheckIn with your teens
"Knowing how to check in with our teenagers and what to say can make a real difference in the prevention of suicide," says Cassey Chambers, Head of Operations at the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag).
Teen Suicide Prevention Week and the call to #CheckIn
Sadag dedicates 12-19 February to Teen Suicide Week. The aim is to highlight the issues around suicide.
"What we notice is that teen depression and bullying are more often than not the top reasons behind a suicide attempt.
"Having seen an increase in the number of calls to the Suicide Helpline, Sadag has a strong focus on creating awareness around teen depression and the high risk of suicide among this group," Chambers says.
The first thing to understand is that suicide can happen to anyone. Even if it seems a person is happy and healthy, this may not be the case.
"There is a myth that depression or suicide doesn't affect teens or children," says psychiatrist Dr Frans Korb. "In fact, suicide affects more young people than we know, with teens particularly at high risk."
READ MORE | Mental health: it’s not always good to talk
If your child shows signs of mental health troubles pay attention. It may be the case of a bad day, but it could also be something more serious. Previous studies show that one in four teens feel hopeless and think about suicide.
Don't assume that a teen who has not been diagnosed with a mental health condition is not at risk, partly because it is not always easy to pinpoint mental health issues at its onset.
If you suspect a teen is considering suicide, the first thing is to remain calm, listen even where they are not talking. Your teen may not come to you, monitor sleep patterns, appetite, social activities... it can signal struggles.
Suicide does not differentiate
You may think the idea of suicide has not crossed the mind of your child. Unfortunately, suicide does not discriminate and, no matter how wealthy you may be or how happy you may believe your child to be, it can happen to anyone.
Some reasons why a young person may consider suicide:
- Death of a loved one
- Divorce
- Bullying
- Racism, discrimination
- Mental health problems
- Family history of suicide
- Being a victim or witness to violence, domestic abuse
- Financial strain
- Suicide in a peer group
Get rid of the stigma
In our society, we shouldn't be afraid to reach out because talking about mental health shows great strength. It is okay to not feel okay, to express how you are feeling and what you are thinking, and to tell someone that you trust when you need some help.
In fact, research shows that talking about suicide with a young person does not cause them to have thoughts about suicide or kill themselves. But not talking about it can lead to thoughts of suicide turning into action.
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One in three people in South Africa have or will have a mental health issue at some point in their life.
Mental health is part of total health - and seeking help is a sign of self-respect and maturity.
Sadag advises these ways to assist your teen in the case of deteriorating mental health:
Focus on listening, not lecturing: If you suspect that your teen is depressed or suicidal, create a space of love, open communication and no-judgement, where you can bring up your concerns. Avoid criticising or using negative language.
Be gentle, but persistent: They may shut you out at first, keep persisting in a loving and gentle way. Talking about it is the first step towards healing, but it takes time.
Acknowledge their feelings: Validate what your teen may be feeling – avoid dismissing their feelings, even though it may seem irrational or silly.
Trust your instincts: If your gut tells you that your teen is not in a good space, trust it and open the lines of communication. When you do talk to them, start with a reassuring sentiment such as: "You seem sad. You can talk to me about anything, because I love you and I am here in any way you need." Be vigilant in order to pick up whether your child is struggling more than usual with school work, or whether the child is being bullied.
Increase social connection: Encourage your teen to keep connected with friends and loved ones. Invite friends and family over as a reminder that they are surrounded by love.
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The bottom line:
Never assume your child is pretending when they say they are sad or depressed. Don't risk being wrong in this instance - take it seriously.
They may say things like:
"What's the point of living?"
"Nothing matters, anymore."
"Would anyone even miss me if I weren't around?"
While you may be shocked, angry, hurt or even in denial if you find that your child has suicidal thoughts, the important thing is to focus on their well-being. It's natural to feel sad, but creating a safe space will enable an environment conducive to being open about feelings, fears and stressors.
Remember to do this without blame or shame. Instead of saying:
"You have a great life, why would you end it?"
"Don't be silly, you don't mean that!"
Rather manage your own emotions and respond with warmth, love and empathy.
"It sounds like you're in a tough spot at the moment and there seems no way out."
"Life can sometimes feel complicated and difficult – would you like to talk about this?"
Connect and engage with your children by asking questions, listen with understanding, be an active part in their lives, get to know their peer group and continuously check in (#checkin) with how they're feeling and what they are thinking.
If you notice any warning signs, no matter how small, don't wait or ignore it. Talk, listen and connect to help – it could save a life.
A combination of steps can be taken, such as medication, talk therapy, stress reducing techniques, like meditation, journaling or gardening. Work together with your teen to find the treatments that work best.
There is hope
There's hope on the horizon, 75% of suicides can be prevented and difficult times don't last forever. With the right treatment and support, your teen can heal and live a fulfilling, happy life.
*Contact Sadag for help: www.sadag.org / Suicide Crisis Helpline 0800 567 567
