Share

Bringing a new bae to festive gatherings? Expert says, 'prep your partner and not family'

accreditation
0:00
play article
Subscribers can listen to this article

Festive holidays are around the corner, and most adults are beginning to feel pressure in their relationships.

The family will be grilling them about their relationship status and their partners should they bring them around.

Dr Angela Jones weighs in on what to consider before deciding to bring your partner around the family during the festive season.


As we are nearing the festive holidays, most adults will be going through a stressful time visiting home and being asked about their relationship status. Aunts and uncles will ask tough questions like 'When are you getting a man?' 'When are we meeting your man?' and 'When are you getting married?' This causes a lot of adults to skip spending festive with family to avoid the pressure that comes with these questions. Dr Angela Jones weighs in on whether or not you should bring your new significant other to festive holiday functions.

READ MORE | Why I prefer second dates to be with family or close friends

"If you are in a relationship, and you feel like this is somebody that's serious, and you feel like, 'Okay, I can see you in my life after... then sure, you can bring them around for the holidays, but that's not the only concern you should have," she says. She adds that the bond you have with your family also plays an important role. "It shouldn't be [about] the bond that you have with this person only; it should be [about] the bond that you have with your family as well." She continues to say that you know your family and will be able to discern if your partner will fit in.

READ MORE | 'Nothing wrong with having a little bit of fun' – 7 steps to a holiday fling done the right way

"You should ask yourself if this is the optimal experience for him or her during the holiday season." When it comes to your family's opinions about how long this partnership will last, Dr Angela says to consider the value of those opinions. "If you value your family's opinion, then bring them, let your family talk to your partner, let them ask your partner all the questions and see if your partner can take it. You might get some information you didn't know. Your partner will also get information about you when they see you in your natural environment and how you are with your family."

Will you bring your significant other around your family this festive season? Tell us here.



READ MORE | What to do when your partner's family doesn't like you - 'Your happiness matters the most'

She says if you know that there are certain things to worry about, it is best to give your partner a heads-up. When asked if you also need to give your family a heads-up about things they can or can't ask your partner, she said, "Let your family be who they are. Your partner is the one that's new, and you don't want to make your family uncomfortable during the holidays. Prep your partner and not family. Let your partner know of the subjects they'll bring up and ask him or her if they're comfortable with them."

READ MORE | 'Don't arrive empty-handed': Women give advice on meeting the parents

There's a difference between someone you've been dating for a while and someone you just met, and Dr Angela says you need to consider if this is a good idea to get to know him or her in a family setting. It's also possible to go through a rift with your partner, but what happens when it takes place before the holidays? "You two need to have an understanding because most of the time, family can sniff the tension out. So, you need to ask yourself if you feel comfortable with family knowing because you know the strength of your relationship." When it comes to unruly family members, you should definitely give your partner a heads-up on how to deal with them.


We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
Who we choose to trust can have a profound impact on our lives. Join thousands of devoted South Africans who look to News24 to bring them news they can trust every day. As we celebrate 25 years, become a News24 subscriber as we strive to keep you informed, inspired and empowered.
Join News24 today
heading
description
username
Show Comments ()
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE