‘If I'm married to you, I'm entitled to your phone': Therapist says privacy has no place in marriage

• Cellphones are culprits when it comes to issues relating to trust in relationships. 
• Marriage therapist Bakhe Dlamini says when you are married, your partner should have access to your phone.
• This is a view not all married couples would probably agree with.

Marriage therapist Bakhe Dlamini says, when you are married, your partner should have access to your phone.

This is a view not all married couples would probably agree with. What we widely know is this kind of thinking in society: "You don't touch a man's phone." But why?

Is it because it is "expected" for a man to cheat, hence his phone should not be touched?

READ MORE | From 'technoference' to 'phubbing' - here's how to protect your relationship from technology

In a video posted on his Instagram, he says: "My wife and I have access to each other's phones. Does that mean we don't trust each other? 

"We have been married for 12 years, and from day one, we believed marriage should be transparent and simple, with no barriers."

Bakhe adds that they trust each other so much that they can easily allow each other access to their phones.

"If I am married to you, I am entitled to your phone? Yes, I am. If I am married to you, we are one. Marriage means fusing lives into one, and there is nothing like my privacy."

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Cellphones are culprits when it comes to issues relating to trust in relationships. Trust is a crucial ingredient for a healthy and successful relationship.

In a previous article, we asked life coach Thembi Hama if checking your partner's phone is acceptable. 

"Under normal circumstances, and ideally, checking each other's phone is unnecessary and not even a question," she says.

"People who check each other's phones have trust issues and insecurities, possibly resulting from previous incidents that made them believe they need to check up on their partner constantly." 

READ MORE | Falling in love is easy but a good marriage takes work – 15 tips to make it last

She detailed three ways to deal with trust and insecurity:

• Have constant relationship check-ups and reviews where you nip problems in the bud. That way, you prevent resentment;
• Keep things transparent and keep communication lines open. That way, there is no room for mistrust;
• Be honest with your partner about your values.