Publications
Partners
- In 2022, people are encouraged to focus on themselves instead of trying to have it all by 30.
- One couple took this advice and ran with it by getting married in their 40s.
- Now, they've decided to share the benefits of marrying later with the rest of the world.
It's pretty refreshing to see couples not pressured by society's standards to get married at a young age. To see people wait for the right moment of enough self-discovery before deciding to settle down. After all, the famous saying goes, 'Know yourself, love yourself so you can teach someone else how to love you'. The following couple waited until they were done with their twenties and thirties to tie the knot - Here's why.
READ MORE | She's been planning to marry her gay best friend for years – 'We'll pursue our own relationships'
Former White House staffer Deesha Dyer and her husband Wesley Moe joined Good Day DC to share the benefits of first finding love and marriage later. When one of the hosts of the show asked Deesha what made her want to share her journey, she responded by saying, "My journey is like everyone else's. I was like; I wanted to get married when I was young, have babies, and do all these things. For some reason, it just didn't happen for me. It was a really big heartbreak for me to say to myself that 'I've got to get myself together a little bit more before I decide to give myself to somebody else'."
READ MORE | A wedding trend forced this bride to uninvite a friend who wanted alcohol at her 'dry wedding'
She continued to list the things she did to work on herself. "I did a lot of therapy, went to the gym, went to church and kinda got myself together and took some time and had my White House career and tried to have a relationship at the same which didn't work out well and after I did all those things for myself, without even trying I met Wes." The couple met through a dating app, and Wesley detailed the experience. "Well, we were young-ish and single in New York at the time. We were around the apps, and I happened to be at a party one night and swiped on this one right here."
READ MORE | WATCH | Viral TikTok bride who was left at the altar tells all - Groom still hasn't apologised
The couple thought it would be fun for both of them to have a summer fling which ended in marriage. Deesha shared that she was reluctant to share that she was going to get married because she didn't want to seem like she had waited her whole life to get married, and this is what makes life worth living. "I didn't want people to think that I had finally hit the end of the rainbow. I hit this golden pot, and then all of a sudden, I was happy and cheery. I didn't want people to go through their self-love journey to get married; you know, the 'I did work on myself, and now I found him'."
READ MORE | Do you need a love coach? Listen to your heart - and an expert - before you rejoin the dating game
The couple went on to list the benefits of marrying later in life:
Wesley said, "I think I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger, and I got them out of the way, and now I just feel more comfortable with who I am and that makes me a better partner. I'm more confident in what I want, how I show up and communicate. I am much better than what I was when I was twenty."
Deesha said, "I didn't know myself in my twenties and thirties because you're constantly changing. It's a welcoming thing, which I think is great. In my twenties and thirties, I was still trying to figure out just little things like my hair. Now I feel more relaxed, I feel more calm, we have more fun, and we're like little kids. We don't care about what people think. We're closer to 50; we got married at 40."
