A friend of mine recently asked me to define what I thought women meant when they say they look for confidence in a man. Why do so many women say they find confidence attractive and yet find the brash brother arrogance so off-putting? What is the difference? And how do you go about being confident, when you’re not a very extroverted person?
The answer is quite simple, but not that easy to internalise, which is I guess why a lot of men looking to impress women turn to dating advice sites that are often rife with pick up artist tricks and techniques. The problem with this type of thing is that even though it sometimes works – especially in the short run – the entire concept is based on trickery and faking. And there is something undeniably icky about falsifying your personality to get someone to like you.
Sure, I know - everybody does it to some extent. Obviously when you want someone to like you, whether it’s for a date or a job interview, you want to present your best self. BUT – the key here is that it still has to be yourself.