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Bridesmaid decides not to attend the wedding after her new boyfriend doesn't get invited

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Illustration. Photo by Getty Images.
Illustration. Photo by Getty Images.
    • A bride on Reddit had to cut down her wedding guest list due to Covid-19 restrictions. 
    • Her bridesmaid wanted her new boyfriend to be invited, and when he wasn't, she opted out of the wedding.
    • The bride apologised to the bridesmaid, who felt that the bride disrespected her relationship. The bridesmaid did not reply.


    A bride on Reddit has labelled her bridesmaid "entitled" after she opted out of the wedding because her new boyfriend was not invited. "When we started to plan our wedding, we felt we wanted to be married more than we wanted to postpone and have a big party. We said we were having a small wedding from the start — only our closest friends, family, etc.," the bride explains.

    She says they made an exception for one of the bridesmaids who had just started seeing someone, so they said she could bring him after everyone had been invited to the wedding.

    READ MORE | Bride changes her dress days before the wedding and has no regrets: 'When I saw the dress, I cried'

    Due to the pandemic and restrictions, further cuts were made and the wedding was reduced to only 20 guests. The bride says it was a hard decision to make but had to be made. "I let my bridesmaids know that we have decided not to have anyone with us at the altar, as not to risk anyone getting sick.  "Do I RSVP for only me or my boyfriend as well?" a text came in from the bridesmaid. 

    "As we were getting closer to our wedding, the restrictions had gotten tighter, and we realised we were not comfortable with 50 guests. Not only because it's breaking restrictions, but because family members and close friends are at high risk," the bride writes.

    READ MORE | Bride tired of photographer's empty promises to send her wedding pictures

    "I explained that  I thought I made it clear that he, unfortunately, wasn't invited since he has no role in our wedding. I told her that we had made hard choices. Then she asks if the other bridesmaid's boyfriend is coming, 'yes, he's our toastmaster'. This makes her even angrier, saying she shouldn't be expected to be there without her boyfriend when other boyfriends are allowed to come. Again she says we should be more including, 'this isn't about the virus because his germs are my germs'."

    The bridesmaid went on to say that her relationship was not respected and will not attend the wedding if her boyfriend was not invited.

    READ MORE | Bride frustrated by wedding guests asking about babysitting arrangements at her 'child-free' wedding

    The bride apologised to the bridesmaid for making her feel the way she felt, but there was no response.

    "Most friends are on our side of things, understanding it's a pandemic wedding. When we let people know they weren't invited anymore, everyone was understanding. One of my closest friends, our witness, said she did in no way expect to be invited even though she was a witness. She said she had not expected her fiancé to be invited had he not been as a witness as well. Other friends were on her side, saying, 'it's only one person; can't you make an exception?' Except it's not just one person, because if we invite him, a guy we have never met, why aren't we inviting close friends, family members, other people's partners who we have met?"

    'Plus one' drama is an ongoing debate that does not always end well. Even though situations vary, there is etiquette to keep in mind.

    Earlier in the year, W24 compiled ten wedding rules for bringing a plus one.

    - If a wedding invitation doesn’t say plus one, don’t bring one.

    - If you get a plus one, RSVP using your guest’s name and not "plus one".

    - If asked for dietary requirements, ensure you include those of your plus one's too.

    - Make sure your plus one sticks to the theme.

    - Don’t bring someone who is going to embarrass you, other guests or the bridal couple.

    - Ensure your partner or guest knows what time the wedding ends so you don't have to leave before the end.

    - If you can, introduce your plus one to the couple and other friends who will be at the wedding long before the actual wedding. If that's not possible then introduce your plus one to the couple and your friends at the wedding but don’t make it about you.

    - Make sure your partner/guest doesn't impose on photos because not all bridal couples want strangers in their wedding photos.

    - Make sure your gift reflects the fact that you brought a plus one.

    - If your plus one doesn’t know the couple, don’t ask them to chip in for a said gift.

    Was the bride wrong for not letting the bridesmaid bring her boyfriend or is the bridesmaid overreacting? Let us know here.

    Sources: Reddit

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