Share

'I wasn't allowed to watch TV or read books' - Here's why these people called off their weddings

accreditation
0:00
play article
Subscribers can listen to this article
Illustration by Getty Images.
Illustration by Getty Images.
Pollyana Ventura
  • When couples get engaged, families and friends come together to celebrate them becoming one.
  • Unfortunately, only some engaged people make it down the aisle.
  • The reasons for this vary, from cheating, arguing and obsessively controlling partners.


Getting engaged is an exciting moment and a dream come true for many. When someone you've been in a relationship with takes the step to make a commitment to spend forever with you, everyone around you begins to celebrate and wish you well.

However, for some couples, somewhere along the line, something happens that makes them change their minds and decide to call off the wedding.

According to a survey by specialist buyers, WP Diamonds, who polled 1 000 people between the ages of twenty and sixty, twenty percent of all engagements are called off before the wedding.

READ MORE | Wedding or memorial service? Bride upset sister may miss wedding to attend friend's memorial

There are many reasons for cancelling an engagement and would-be-brides and grooms are not shy about sharing their stories. While some are profound and painful, others are the stuff TV dramas are made of.

A Reddit user asked others on the platform: "Redditor who got engaged but it didn't last till the wedding, what happened?"

Users flooded the comments section to share their stories and we compiled some of the most compelling and thought-provoking responses.

First, he changed, big time. He became controlling, jealous, and seemed to really expect that we'd reenact his parents wildly disfunctional marriage. Repeated long talks about it didn't change anything. There came a point where we were planning the wedding while I was realistically picturing myself as divorced in five years. That was stupid, and I ended it. We're both married to other people for over 25 years now, but he was bitter and mean the last time we ran into each other. I dodged such a bullet.
Tony
She was controlling, manipulative, and abusive. She was like this before we got engaged, but since it was my first relationship, I didn't know any better. She got worse after the engagement. I wasn't allowed to have any friends or access the internet. I couldn't watch TV, go to movies, or read any books without her permission first. She had to know where I was every moment of the day. As far as she was concerned, my sole reason for existence was to do whatever she wanted. One day, I got fed up with something she wanted me to do and told her no. She said that she couldn't marry me if I wasn't willing to do what she asked. She broke off the engagement a few days later.
Shane

READ MORE | It's a love thing: These women feel like they 'won the lottery' when they met their mothers-in-law

"We were together for 8 years and engaged for most of that. We were high school sweethearts. We were happy, bought a house together but eventually just grew apart. It was an amicable break up and we're still friends. It just became apparent that we wanted very different things in life."
Princess Kate
We dated for six years and finally proposed. It came to light that she had been talking to my soon-to-be best man and they 'fell in love'. Losing two of the closest people in your life on the same day sucks but it's not so bad now.
Brethern
She started hanging out with an old group of high school friends and just changed. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides. If I had one more guest than she did, she made me remove someone from my side. I knew if I moved forward it would have ended in divorce, so I just ended it before it got to that.
Joey

READ MORE | 'She didn't care' - Friend leaves wedding after bride's insensitive remark about her skin condition

He was cheating on me with a girl from his job. I helped him get a better job since he was making minimum wage at McDonalds before. He was also very immature and I realize now that him cheating on me was the best thing that could have happened.
Sellecca
Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of having sex with her co-worker on my couch. I loved that couch.
Calvin
I got engaged to my pregnant girlfriend. Four months before the wedding, she calls it off saying she doesn't feel the love anymore. A week after that, I came home early from my second job to surprise her and see if we can work things out and found her in bed with the guy who would have been my best man. Turns out they've been at it for six months and she planned to leave me for him as soon as he broke things off with his wife (who was to be her maid of honour). I decided to speed up the process by telling his wife what I found and instead of leaving her, the guy ditched my fiancée to try to salvage his marriage.
Zayn

READ MORE | Bride bans future in-laws from getting married the same year as her, insists it's too close

My ex fiancé and I kept disagreeing about stuff for the wedding. She comes from a wealthy family and I didn't have the money to have the type of wedding she wanted. My family offered to help out on some things and she agreed to give a little ground. I found out a week later that she and her mom had completely changed everything without telling me. Most of these changes I couldn't afford. When I confronted her about it, she asked me where I had heard that. I told her my sister had told me. She told me that I needed to choose between her and my family. It didn't take me but a few seconds to tell her that she could get all her things and get out of the house as soon as possible.
Cain
We got engaged without fully discussing what would happen after I graduated from college and we could stop being long-distance. As it turns out, he was not much of a city guy, and I didn't want to move to the boonies and be a stay-at-home wife immediately after graduation. Whoops! It worked out for the best for both of us.
Cheryl

READ MORE | Woman stops abusive dad's wedding to woman he cheated on mom with

One of my friends got engaged and her fiancé became really controlling about the wedding. They fell in love with a venue but the only date available was in like four months. My friend wanted to think it over because she wanted to see if her family and bridal party was even available on that specific day. He proceeded to go behind her back, pay the deposit to hold the date without telling her, and then demanding her parents pay for the rest of the bill. Thank god she finally ended it.
Selena
She was controlling, manipulative, and abusive. She was like this before we got engaged, but since it was my first relationship, I didn't know any better. She got worse after the engagement. I wasn't allowed to have any friends or access the internet. I couldn't watch TV, go to movies, or read any books without her permission first. She had to know where I was every moment of the day. As far as she was concerned, my sole reason for existence was to do whatever she wanted. One day, I got fed up with something she wanted me to do and told her no. She said that she couldn't marry me if I wasn't willing to do what she asked. She broke off the engagement a few days later.
Shane
She fell in love with my best friend. We went on a trip to visit him, and at the end of it I caught them making out in her car. They ended up getting married a few months later and had a child shortly thereafter. They just recently finalized their divorce. I ran into my old "friend" and met their kid. I asked what happened and he said, "Same thing as what happened to you, man." If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.
Freddie

Sources: Reddit



We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
Who we choose to trust can have a profound impact on our lives. Join thousands of devoted South Africans who look to News24 to bring them news they can trust every day. As we celebrate 25 years, become a News24 subscriber as we strive to keep you informed, inspired and empowered.
Join News24 today
heading
description
username
Show Comments ()
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE