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Joe English has done it again. He has fallen for a new movement, and he hopes this time it doesn't break his heart.
Let me admit this immediately: I’ve been down this road before. And I’d been proven wrong before.
Not only have I been proven wrong, but a certain segment of society has been disproportionately delighted every time this happened.
The members of this segment of society have a few traits in common (and here I run the danger of generalising, but this kind of thing has happened again and again, and it always follows the same pattern). These people ambush me at the most awkward moment by leaving comments on my social media accounts, often unrelated to the posts, or by tagging me on Twitter or Instagram, saying things like below (this is just an example, and I have to do it in Afrikaans because they usually speak Afrikaans):
Jou f*kken daggarooker, nou het jy mos gekry persies wat jy wou gehaat het! Jy wou mos ANC stem, jou dom p****! Het jy rerig gedink dinge gaan anders uit draai? Jy is ‘n f*kken useless liberal an ek haad jou musiek!
(*You f***king dagga smoker. You got exactly what you hated. You wanted to vote ANC, you dumb p***. Did you really think it would turn out any other way? You are a f***king useless liberal and I hate your music)
To be honest, I never fail to cringe a bit whenever I am attacked by these trolls. There have been times, for sure, when I almost fell for the temptation of engaging them in debates.
Am I a fool?
First of all, I would like to point out to them that I have not smoked a single dagga joint in the last couple of decades. I would also like to point out that I have never voted for the ANC. Yes, I opposed apartheid, and yes, like countless other people who share my sentiments, I am gravely and deeply disappointed in the present state of the country, the apparent failure of democracy and how things have deteriorated generally since 1994.
Am I a fool to believe it would all be different? Am I responsible for the choices made by the government? Am I too naïve to get myself involved in politics and activism, again and again, only to be let down over and over? Should I just accept the fact that all politicians are corrupt? Should I stop writing columns altogether? Should I follow Scottish singer Gerry Rafferty's famous advice and simply "settle down in some quiet little town and forget about everything”? That is a temptation indeed.
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Only a year ago, I spotted a very cheap and quite charming little property in Clanwilliam. What if I set up house there and spend the rest of my days pretending to be actor Tolla van der Merwe? Would people leave me alone, then?
When I think of all the times my friends and I have been wrong, that might well be the sensible thing to do.
I mean, we were wrong about Cyril Ramaphosa. Oh, so very wrong.
We were also wrong about political party Cope. Same with Agang. And I was semi-wrong, too, a few times, which was just as bad!
Did I place too much hope in Mmusi Maimane? Am I putting too much hope in Herman Mashaba? How many times have we fixated on some new rising star, some new idea, some political party which just might save us from a miserable eternity under ANC rule? Will a political solution present itself, or should we accept that we are destined to be yet another failed state? The horror! The horror!
Of course, there’s always the DA. Oh, hell, the DA.
A successful party
I’ll be perfectly frank, and I will say right out loud that, YES, the DA is, in practical terms, the most successful and efficient political organisation available in South Africa right now. I mean, I should know; I live in the Western Cape, where the potholes get fixed, where the police turn up when you phone them, where load shedding is reduced, where everyone has bicycle lanes, et cetera.
Then why can't I bring myself to vote for them? Is it because of my recurring nightmares in which Helen Zille, dressed up in a dominatrix's uniform, is torturing me with a little whip while she keeps on shouting: "Colonialism Rules, Okay?"
But surely the fact that I have these recurring nightmares is not her fault? And why am I so appalled when DA politicians call themselves "liberals"?
Sure, liberalism is ultra-uncool these days, it's a bit like maintaining a personal site on MySpace or Tumblr. Or like taking your poodle for a walk in broad daylight. (If I had a poodle, I must admit, I would wait till darkness falls before taking it for a walk.)
Oh, it’s all so complicated, and I get so tired just thinking about these issues. And now it's happened again.
Rise Mzansi
I've discovered a political grouping that’s gotten me excited all over again.
I sincerely believe that they are different from all that has gone before.
At the risk of being proven wrong yet again, sometime in the future, I’m coming out, and I’m saying it right out loud:
Quite frankly: I believe Rise Mzansi is the most exciting thing to have happened in South Africa since the discovery of rooibos tea.
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This a movement more than a party, and they are, thank goodness for that, not fixated on one single charismatic leader. They appear to be listening to what the people actually want. They are focusing on the needs and aspirations of young people.
They don't call one another "comrade", either.
And, best of all, to the best of my knowledge, none of their members has ever been spotted at a "Die Waarheid Media" get-together.
Rise Mzansi speaks to my heart. They speak to my soul. I want to believe in them. I want them to take us into a brighter future in 2024.
You may take this with a pinch of salt if you wish. But take it from me. Even if I am an ex-dagga rooker (smoker).
- Joe Kitchen is a South African musician, singer, songwriter and writer who sometimes goes by the name of Koos Kombuis, André Letoit and/or André le Roux du Toit.
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