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If we are going to improve our current level of debate, we need to offer those we disagree with the benefit of the doubt. There may be bits and pieces of the truth in what they say, and it won't help us get anywhere if we simply dismiss them, writes News24 In-depth and Profile writer James de Villiers.
In a world where you can be forever labelled as problematic, I have grown afraid to share my opinion. And I have often grown envious of those who have the bravery to share their views - some of them I call close friends.
Fear has often kept me from writing because what if I am wrong? Do we even allow people to change their views still, or will they always be remembered for what they once believed?
A week ago, political analyst Dr Imraan Buccus penned a column for News24 where he said that the death of Archbishop Desmond Tutu highlighted once again how toxic public discourse had become in South Africa. He argued that for South Africa to address its urgent social and political problems, it will need to embrace "evidenced-based rational debate".
READ | Imraan Buccus: Desmond Tutu's life shows that cultured speech is a radical necessity
And while I do not necessarily agree that our public discourse is worse off than what it was 20 or 30 years ago, I do agree that for us to achieve progress in this country, dismissing each other's opinions and labelling people simply as evil is probably not going to help us move forward.
There might be good in organisations I disagree with
After a dinner party with our neighbours a week ago, where I brushed off pageantry as a sexist and patriarchal phenomenon - and harshly refused to listen to any view counter to what I believed, my partner warned me that we shouldn't dismiss the views of people and institutions as merely right or wrong, black or white.
"James", he said, "there is nuance in everything in this world. The world doesn't exist in simple black or white, but instead shades of grey. And, if you have to raise your voice to convince someone else of your opinion, or throw a serviette onto the table, it is more a reflection of your weak argument or simply being unable to engage in debate."
Leadership coach Robin Sharma writes that the degree of an overreaction is often an indication of how deep the trauma is.
I have since wondered how often I have dismissed the views of incredible people simply because they haven't fitted into the defined bubble of what I believe is right and good. Because, while I might not like it, an organisation such as Miss South Africa may help inspire thousands of girls around the country, and seeing a Miss South Africa that looks like them might instil a sense of confidence that I may never understand.
Do Twitter debates really move us forward?
After six years as a journalist, I have grown to believe that we do not change the views of those we disagree with through facts and figures. Stories and narratives are so powerful in our society because I believe that the only way for another person to change their mind is if they heard the experiences of the other side.
Revelations do not happen through statistics, it happens when we hear the stories of the oppressed, marginalised and outcasted (and if we are willing to listen).
That is why I no longer believe in engaging in long drawn out Twitter debates where people hide behind their screens' safety or nameless profiles. Do we honestly have fewer racists today because we call them out on social media, or have we just pushed them further into their bubbles where it may be even more challenging to reach them and change their views?
(And yes, I believe racism is a multi-layered problem that will likely only be solved when we solve the atrocious levels of inequality in this country.)
Does social media and our current form of public discourse not only push people further into their fringe views? Is our current public discourse really helping us move forward? Where we can't see the nuance in someone; that they might have views we disagree with (or that are problematic), but that we can't simply dismiss them as evil because there might be other parts of them that are still good or kind?
Should we not instead aim to connect with the fears and stories of those we disagree with? Instead of debating with people about what they believe, start asking them why they think what they do? Many people are afraid, and their fears of the future - of what might happen to them and their families - often drive their beliefs.
Dismissing those does not help to change their minds and instead serves only to harden their beliefs. Oprah Winfrey famously said that everyone in the world has a common desire: "Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you."
Everything we know might be wrong
More than a month ago, I interviewed acclaimed former constitutional court justice Edwin Cameron in his home in Hyde Park, Johannesburg, where I asked him whether there have been any judgments he made that might have been a mistake.
READ | Justice Edwin Cameron: 'My generation looted, and were incompetent'
He quickly responded with a list of rulings he said might have been too harsh or not harsh enough. Surprised, I asked how he can admit his mistakes in a world where admitting them is often seen as a sign of weakness.
Cameron responded: "All the time. I think I might be wrong on vaccinations, on Aids stigma, on education policy, etc. And I think all the time: 'How do we know what is right; what should be done?' We only know through debate and through science, which is basically trial and error."
Therefore, may we enter 2022 believing - or knowing - that what we feel right now might be completely and utterly wrong - and we will only know if it is through testing, through conversation and debate. And may we offer those we disagree with the benefit of the doubt; that there might be bits and pieces of the truth in what they say. It won't help us get anywhere if we simply dismiss them.
- James de Villiers is an In-depth and Profile writer at News24.
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