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LETTER TO THE EDITOR | I am who I am! A lesbian woman writes about her experience at a public toilet

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Queerphobia refers to the fear, hatred, invalidation, mockery, disapproval and shaming of existences that do not fit neatly into heterosexual and cisgender normalities. (Alexander Spatari/ Getty Images)
Queerphobia refers to the fear, hatred, invalidation, mockery, disapproval and shaming of existences that do not fit neatly into heterosexual and cisgender normalities. (Alexander Spatari/ Getty Images)

Going to a public toilet has to be one of the most intimidating experiences as a lesbian woman, writes Tracy Smuts from Johannesburg, Gauteng. 


I am a 42-year-old female. I have lived as a lesbian woman all of my life. It’s not an easy life to live. However, what people don't understand is that it' s not always a choice.

Most gay and lesbian people are born this way we don't get to choose and decide what we are and what we feel.

This brings me to a maybe very insignificant story to some, I am sure. But for me, and I am sure many others, it's a consistent battle.

Going to a public toilet has to be one of the most intimidating experiences. For example, on Saturday, 26 of June 2021, at around 10:45, while shopping with my fiancé for my birthday gifts, I needed to go to the ladies' room. 

Being a female, I went into the ladies' toilet and it happened again: "Hey, hey you, sorry this is for ladies,"  said the cleaning lady. I replied: " And so?" 

Laughing at the top of her lungs, she said something to the other two ladies who were in the toilet at the time, and they continued to laugh so loudly that I could hear them the entire time I was in the cubicle.  

I proceeded to the wash hand basin only to be glared at by the lady that was still busy at the basin area. Walking out I had to pass the cleaner again and yet again, I was laughed at. I heard an "eh ooh ah ah" sound. I felt so embarrassed by the way I was treated. Needless to say, the rest of my day was totally ruined. 

This happens often. I am not only blaming the cleaning lady but society in general. I haven't taken it further to the centre management but maybe I should have. 

She was totally disrespectful and judgemental. Causing another human being to feel like they don’t belong and that there is no place for them in society is just not fair. I did nothing wrong. I am who I am!

-  Tracy Smuts from Johannesburg, Gauteng. 

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