- Many South Africa mothers find themselves raising children without their fathers.
- Raising a child alone has emotional and financial consequences.
- Financial literacy expert Nicolette Mashile suggests being financially independent, as sad as that may be.
No parent should experience having to raise a child alone.
This not only adds emotional stresses but it becomes financially strenuous. Unfortunately, too many fathers distance themselves from the responsibility of taking care of their children, leaving the mothers to raise their children.
A 2022 Statistics South Africa report found that 42,1 percent of households were headed by women and most common in rural areas.
So, what happens when you find yourself having to co-parent with someone who is financially unreliable?.
Financial literacy expert Nicolette Mashile says, "It's such a difficult question to answer because the answers are almost always on a case by case basis as to what are the reasons as to [why] this person not being financially dependable."
She shares the following tips to mitigate the financial burden as a single parent:
1. Build a community
"Start looking at to say, ‘what type of village do I want to build around my child so that it fills in the void and the gap when this person who's just not financially dependable is around.
"It might not necessarily be a community that is helping you out financially but I think on the day where there's that disappointment, there's somebody who can catch you."
2. Lean on the legal system
"I really recommend the legal route, as painful and as shameful as we've made it out to be in South Africa, I think if you go into it very clinical and try to manage the emotion around it - it's probably the best thing that you can do and you must do it quickly.
"Don't get to a point where you are frustrated. I would always suggest that you do it outside of the court. First, try to have somebody to mitigate that conversation. Sometimes families are not the best places to go, sometimes you do need an external third party person to have a conversation with the two of you and say, ‘look, this baby is both your responsibility and I would rather we draw up a structure of how we're going to financially support this child."
3. Build independence
"[What] I probably would suggest is try and be independent of this person as much as possible and it's sad. It's a sad reality
"Build your financial needs, independent of this person so that whatever they’re bringing in becomes a secondary thing, that, ‘yes, we are grateful for the extra R1000 that you've given us. However, we were fine with the R2500 or whatever that we have built a little buffer around."
4. Build an emergency fund
"Building the emergency fund will help because in the month where this person doesn't give you the money, you may need to buffer it with something else.
5. Explore financial contributions that don't require cash
"If if this person is employed, they might not be dependable on cash but they may be dependable on things like putting the baby on medical aid. So, try and see what do they have that is more solid and more structured. At least if he's taking care of or she's taking care of the medical aid, you then can balance out the other things. Find those little structures that are available there."
Nicolette sat on the Clicks BabyClub panel, which was targeted at building financial wellness for parents. Here she said that developing a long-term financial plan is ideal so you can prioritise decreasing your debt and use that money that went to debt repayment for your emergency funds.
READ MORE | How to raise emotionally healthy, balanced kids - 'Just take it one step at a time'
They add that medical cover is also important because you never know when a medical emergency may arise. When the is an emergency when your child is covered, you will not be required to pay up using money straight from your pocket.
Planning for your child's future is also important because it will help you scale the amount of money you will be required to save. You should consider whether your children will be going to public or private school and if they will further their studies after school.
She also recommends income protection insurance for the instances where you can't work when your child may be ill or another emergency arises so that you can still earn an income.
