For many couples, tackling “boring” sex is met with resistance. (Consensual) sex is seen as natural as breathing, but spicing up one’s sex life sometimes feels like an admission of failure. Sex is riddled with vulnerability and issues of self-esteem, and it takes conscious effort to keep it going.
A few months ago, I was sitting around the dinner table with a group of friends discussing all sorts of things: upcoming travel plans, family and work. I asked the group this question and was met with an uncomfortable silence: “Have you had the experience of sex becoming “boring” in your relationships – even if it ends up in an orgasm?”
“Well, yes,” a male friend replied casually. “We’ve reached a point where we do what we know works. Between the kids, the exhaustion, the work and the domestic logistics, we’ve both made a silent pact to get it over with as quickly as possible.”
