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There are a plethora of things people say to someone who is turning 21. But I assure you, the following bits and pieces come straight from my heart, there are some lessons no book or school will ever teach you.
These are lessons I’m still learning and lessons I hope will stick with you.
Start early - We are like sponges when we start the day early. Open your eyes every morning like you are opening them for the first time. Look closely at the world around you and find your place in it. See the sun rise and realise how fortunate we are to see another day.
Surround Yourself with Good People - Choose them carefully. Be around people who lift you up, avoid those who want to drag you down. Stay away from negative toxic types.
Take a leap of faith - Sometimes, that’s all you can do.
Don’t value money, value people. Practice gratitude at all times - Look around at the people who share your life and count your blessings. Then look at them again and count your blessings one more time. There are many who are completely alone and crying for someone to share their lives with, someone to check on them, someone to turn too. Be grateful to have people who love and care.
Take Risks -Try something new. Change is good! When you get too comfortable, you become stagnant, stretch the boundaries a bit.
Listen to the little voice inside you, it’s never wrong.
One of the keys to happiness, is to love what you do - don’t ever settle. If you haven’t discovered what you meant to be doing, keep looking. When you find it you will know.
Like relationships, we search until we find the right person, loving what you do for the rest of your life is also a matter of the heart.
So remember most people hate what they are doing and can’t change it. Don’t fall in that trap. Learn the value of hard work. You don’t have to be rich or famous or powerful. Just do what you love and do it well.
Know that you are not here by mistake, you have a Purpose - Your principles, belief and path should be clear, no grey areas, either right or wrong. Determination knows no compromise. Hold onto tradition. Hold onto to your history. Stay true to who you are and be proud of your heritage. Your faith is your lighthouse!
If you don’t believe in something, you will fall for anything. So if you are unclear about anything in life, ask questions and question the answers.
Learn How to Take a Brick to the Head - Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I was able to rise over and over again. Eventually you will learn to catch that brick and use it to build something from nothing.
Try to have fun - When you roll your eyes at me singing along to a song or doing something goofy, I am having fun. As adults we become so serious – remember we have to have fun. Even when you are 60, don’t be afraid to have fun, the best moments are when we are goofy.
Never be afraid to say no - If you can't commit to something or someone - please say so. Rather say what you mean, than over promising and under-delivering!
I always said I will let you go one day, I lied - The cliché is that a son is a son until he gets a wife! You will get married. You will have kids. And they will love you.
But two women can love a man –a wife will love you differently and your mother will love you in an inexplicable way, there should never be a tug of war.
There is a special bond. He lights up her eyes like no one can. There's no doubt in my mind. When my mother died, she took a part of all of us, but we all saw the light that faded in my brother's eyes.
We never outgrow our mothers. It’s not "sissy" to have your mother in your corner. Ask any grown man, why he always goes to his mother for advice. Simply because she "knows him best".
Being modest is most attractive. Lose your ego - you won’t miss it - We are not perfect – our wings and halo got lost when Adam and Eve decided to eat the forbidden fruit.
Guess what, you will make mistakes, you will make bad decisions, and the worst mistake would be to walk around thinking you are better than everyone else. I want you to have self-confidence, but being humble is what makes you stand out.
Never stop learning - Shut out the noise (the internet, PS4, TV, I-Pod). Remember acquire knowledge from the "Cradle to the Grave" - pick up a book OK maybe pick up a kindle (LOL!).
Take a class. Learn another language. Try something new. Travel. Explore the world around you. Your mind is a powerful tool.
You came into this world helpless, as parents we equipped you with other tools and helped you by teaching you.
By now, you should have some of the tools you’ll need to forge ahead, Make good use of them. The rest only experience will equip you with.
Life can change in a split second -We both have witnessed this over the years. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Never take anything for granted. Be grateful, show your love to your family and friends. Appreciate moments. Never postpone joy and happiness.
This too shall pass - You will have setbacks, disappointments, testing times, you will get angry, and you will feel sad. There will be aspects in life which will impact you, you will deal with losses.
Time does heal the pain. I promise. Some losses you may not get over, but with time you will learn to deal with it. Some scars remain but you will heal.
Never hold a grudge - Life's way too short to constantly be mad at someone. We are fallible. If you hurt someone ask for forgiveness – If they hurt you, don’t hold a grudge. Let things go.
Be forgiving. Carrying a grudge is like trying to climb Mount Kilimanjaro with a boulder in your backpack. It weighs you down and holds you back.
Don't build your worth on objects, but on experiences - It’s not about the fancy car; fancy clothes or materialistic things, it’s the value of people close to you that you will remember. Shared and solo experiences.
One day whilst sitting on your rocking chair, you can tell my grandchildren and great-children all about your life experiences not about the beech wood table!
I value your opinion - I may not always agree with you, but I want to hear what you have to say. I'm the first to admit I ignored your advice so many times because I thought "he’s so young, what does he know" - I was wrong. Most of the time, your advice was on the mark. I will always hear you.
Remember to choose the Right Partner - This will be one of the most important decisions in your life. The person whom you decide to share your life with.
Choose wisely! Take your time! If you commit, make sure, you know what you are doing, don’t ever marry for the sake of it. Marry your friend and let her grow into your best friend.
Remember you’ll be Dead Soon. Our time on this earth is short, so let’s make it count.
More importantly I will share the same fate as you hopefully sooner than you. Remember: all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. How people will remember you! Rather be a blessing than a curse!
Finally my dear son, never forget that you are loved with a love that knows no bounds. Regardless of your age, you will always be my baby boy!
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