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Straight up, I’ll tell you that I have operated from a place of not having a five-year plan, ever.
Yes, I have a kid. Yes, I am in a long-term committed relationship and we live together in a little rented yellow townhouse.
And it is good. I loathe owning things - Items and possessions and things and life stuff. I still enjoy knowing that I could pack my life up in a day and move anywhere.
Not that I would, mind you, but I do like the idea that I wouldn’t have to sell a house or renege on some longwinded contract if I ever wanted to.
Well, that was how I felt, until about a month ago, when I had to sit down and do some planning for the next year.
Suddenly, I felt wholly inadequate. I have zero actual assets (aside from the usual furniture that doesn’t count anyway) and a big bunch of sentimental items that have a firm place in my heart and home.
For a few seconds, I was not okay with this. I felt unsettled and uncertain.
And then, as it always is with these things, I started to draw comparisons, by trawling my Facebook newsfeed. There’s my lifelong friend, having baby number two and buying an investment property.
There’s my old colleague - she’s going through a divorce (hell!) and starting a new life in another town. There’s a school friend, and she’s opening up her third business, and just posted pictures of her new car.
A dear friend has just left the country to explore the world...and, what am I doing scrolling through this newsfeed in my pyjamas anyway!?!
I ended up weeping, and wondering if I’ve actually got it all wrong. I’m not keen on buying a house, I don’t really know if I want to have another kid, and- heck – I can’t even commit to buying the same deodorant every month.
After I flailed around and swore at myself under my breath, I had to ask “is it time for my mid-life crisis now?” If I were to have one, it’d be the complete antithesis of the more regular mid-life crisis.
Some people sell all their belongings and head off for a round-the-world backpacking trip. If I were to have a mid-life crisis, mine would be buying a house.
Or, you know, a television. I can’t even commit to owning appliances right now – feel free to laugh at me.
Looking back at my freak out session though, I realised I’m actually really happy this way. I’ve never felt more settled and happy about it, than I do right now.
I can’t commit to owning a television, but I am happily committed to my boyfriend. I can’t tell you what I’ll be doing in a year’s time workwise, but I can definitely tell you which high school my daughter will attend.
I can commit to a lifelong friend, but please don’t ask me to sign a mortgage agreement.
Maybe I have settled down, on my own terms.
Maybe my definition of settling down is remarkably different to others. Maybe, just maybe, my five-year plan is really to enjoy what comes my way, and attain a few personal goals on the way.
I still don’t want to own a television though. Follow Cath Jenkin and Women24 on Twitter. Also, like us on Facebook.
Yes, I have a kid. Yes, I am in a long-term committed relationship and we live together in a little rented yellow townhouse.
And it is good. I loathe owning things - Items and possessions and things and life stuff. I still enjoy knowing that I could pack my life up in a day and move anywhere.
Not that I would, mind you, but I do like the idea that I wouldn’t have to sell a house or renege on some longwinded contract if I ever wanted to.
Well, that was how I felt, until about a month ago, when I had to sit down and do some planning for the next year.
Suddenly, I felt wholly inadequate. I have zero actual assets (aside from the usual furniture that doesn’t count anyway) and a big bunch of sentimental items that have a firm place in my heart and home.
For a few seconds, I was not okay with this. I felt unsettled and uncertain.
And then, as it always is with these things, I started to draw comparisons, by trawling my Facebook newsfeed. There’s my lifelong friend, having baby number two and buying an investment property.
There’s my old colleague - she’s going through a divorce (hell!) and starting a new life in another town. There’s a school friend, and she’s opening up her third business, and just posted pictures of her new car.
A dear friend has just left the country to explore the world...and, what am I doing scrolling through this newsfeed in my pyjamas anyway!?!
I ended up weeping, and wondering if I’ve actually got it all wrong. I’m not keen on buying a house, I don’t really know if I want to have another kid, and- heck – I can’t even commit to buying the same deodorant every month.
After I flailed around and swore at myself under my breath, I had to ask “is it time for my mid-life crisis now?” If I were to have one, it’d be the complete antithesis of the more regular mid-life crisis.
Some people sell all their belongings and head off for a round-the-world backpacking trip. If I were to have a mid-life crisis, mine would be buying a house.
Or, you know, a television. I can’t even commit to owning appliances right now – feel free to laugh at me.
Looking back at my freak out session though, I realised I’m actually really happy this way. I’ve never felt more settled and happy about it, than I do right now.
I can’t commit to owning a television, but I am happily committed to my boyfriend. I can’t tell you what I’ll be doing in a year’s time workwise, but I can definitely tell you which high school my daughter will attend.
I can commit to a lifelong friend, but please don’t ask me to sign a mortgage agreement.
Maybe I have settled down, on my own terms.
Maybe my definition of settling down is remarkably different to others. Maybe, just maybe, my five-year plan is really to enjoy what comes my way, and attain a few personal goals on the way.
I still don’t want to own a television though. Follow Cath Jenkin and Women24 on Twitter. Also, like us on Facebook.
