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I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. I’ve noticed a change in the behaviour of two of my bosses over the past months. I’ve worked for the one (a man) for a long time and for about two years for the woman. In November I saw them together in a coffee shop being all lovey-dovey. Fortunately they didn’t see me. The problem is they’re married to other people.
I’ve been feeling extremely uncomfortable in their presence since then but have tried to just be my usual self.
On our last day of work in December they stayed behind. On my way home I realised I’d left a parcel at the office and turned back. When I got there I had such a shock – I saw them kissing. I left quickly so they wouldn’t see me.
A friend who works in the same office block says she’s noticed them leaving together quite often when she goes home at 6pm. I don’t know what to do. Should I say something?
- Anonymous, email
Dr Louise’s advice
Although your bosses are obviously playing with fire, it would be best for you to do nothing about it. The fact that they’re both married and are apparently having an affair may make you uncomfortable but it’s essentially their personal business and interfering – and possibly stirring up a hornet’s nest – may cost you your job.
I’m fairly certain they won’t construe you sharing your opinion on the matter or informing them that you know about it as an act of kindness, but rather see it as interfering or possibly even as an act of betrayal. Some things are best left alone and this is one of them.
Should their own bosses, if they have any, become aware of what’s going on, they’ll have to deal with the consequences without involving you. If you’re asked about it by anyone else at work, you can simply say you’re focused on doing your job and don’t have time to think about others’ personal relationships.
