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This Pride Month we had a chat with Gabe Gabriel, a transgender man.
Gabe is a South African director, writer and actor. He's worked with production companies around the world and he directed SA's first gay romcom for Showmax, No Hiding Here, released in 2021.
Gabe shares his story:
“I am a 32-year-old transgender man from Cape Town.
When I first came out to my parents that I was transgender, it was not easy because they didn’t understand what it meant. After all, they raised me as a girl and gave me a girl's name.
It was harder for my mother but I got help from my sister and my friends to get her to understand that this is about who I am.
I had to explain that my body and my gender were not what the doctor’s recommendation was, that my body will undergo changes but that her child and friend will still be here.
My dad was quicker to understand but he was still fearful.
They eventually came around when I showed them that there is a queer and trans community that is supporting me. My parents have become my biggest supporters, along with my siblings.
READ MORE| My Story: I’m queer – and I wish more families were as accepting as mine
My second coming-out was when I had just moved back from Los Angeles to Cape Town in 2019, when I was 28.
That’s when I started hormone therapy with Dr Anastasia Thompson, a trans healthcare specialist and GP in Sea Point.
She helped me understand the medical procedures and explained how my body was going to change and what to expect.
It was a rocky road because I was also going through a divorce with a girl I had fallen in love with when I was 14 years old.
When the Covid-19 pandemic hit, I was five months into my treatment and being isolated helped me deal with the changes without having to explain it to people.
In 2021 I had a double mastectomy and the hormonal changes were visible.
I still get questions about my gender when people see my ID, because I look like a man, yet my ID says otherwise.
Although a medical transition is expensive and it’s what people focus on, there is also the social transition. This can include a change in name, pronouns or even how one dresses. Transitioning includes how you present yourself to the world.
But the question that is offensive is the ‘have you fully transitioned?’ question. It’s not the same for everyone and you don’t have to go through all the changes.
READ MORE| ‘How I came out to my father as sexually fluid – and his reaction was unexpected’
Through meeting trans people I have learned to own my power and to be open about who I am.
Before I came out, I was never close to anyone because I knew that I was not who I am now. After coming out I got to live my truth and I'm much closer to my parents than I've ever been.
I'm still learning about myself every day but the life I'm living now compared to life before I came out is like night and day in terms of my happiness, my ease and my joy. It's great.”
