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Partners
I’ve met four men since being separated and on the way to divorce. Three I’ve met online and the last I met the conventional way. They’ve all taught me one thing: there is no Prince Charming.
Mr Married
Mr Married and I met online soon after I separated from my husband. He was an enigma, this one. He had a photo on his profile, but it gave nothing away. Hand in front of his face, I could tell two things about him: he was a big man and he had good hair. Talking to him was a pleasure. He was quick, bright, funny and wise. He encouraged me to start taking charge of my life.
It didn’t take long to fall in love with the fantasy that was Mr Married. Of course, at the time, I had no idea he was married. One night, while chatting online, I said: “Let me ask you this: have you ever been married?” He said, “Still am.”
I shook from the revelation. The knowledge that I was doing exactly what had broken my marriage apart. And then I continued doing it, because I thought two things: 1) I had never met him and probably never would and 2) I enjoyed his company and I deserved a little happiness.
About 2 months later, I met him in person. It was familiar and odd and wonderful all at the same time. I’ve met his wife since then, who accepts his online chatting as a hobby of his. Over the past 6 months, we’ve become the best of friends, Mr Married and I.
But he’ll never be my prince charming.
Mr Smooth
Mr Smooth and I met on the same site as I met Mr Married. I was drawn to his face, which, if I’m honest, is remarkably similar to my ex’s. We flirted for a month or two online and toyed with the idea of meeting. One night, he phoned me and said he was heading in my direction. Heart in my mouth, I gave him directions to my house.
I wouldn’t encourage it, this inviting strangers into your home, but fortunately for me, this one turned out not to be a serial killer. Mr Smooth and I got on well. Both the sex and the conversation was good. But something was missing. I felt no emotional connection with this man.
He’d never be my prince charming.
Mr Toy Boy
And then there was Mr Toy Boy. Eight years younger than me, I hesitated before making contact online with him. What would he want with a divorced 40 year old, I thought. And yet want me he did. He was gorgeous and he adored me.
About a month into our online relationship, he flew to Cape Town on business and we met at my house for dinner.
Gorgeous? Check. Funny? Check. Adoring? Check. In a relationship? Check.
He would never be my Prince Charming.
Mr Sexy
I met Mr Sexy through a mutual friend. We work in a way that none of the previous non-Prince Charmings ever could. I get his jokes, he loves to make me laugh and we enjoy each other’s bodies in a way I never thought possible. Cliched, I know, but the truth.
But he’ll never be my Prince Charming. I’ve realised this since meeting him: I’m too old to carve anyone’s name in my desk and endlessly practise writing my new signature. As charming as Mr Sexy is, I’m realistic about who I am, who he is and what works for us. And what works for us is keeping him mostly separate from my kids, enjoying his company when I have a free night or two, laughing like a loon at his jokes and having the best sex of my life.
I love them all
All my non-Prince Charmings have given me a gift. They’ve taught me that there is no Prince Charming, that no one will come to rescue me, and that I’m a strong, independent, single woman who knows what she wants out of life. For that, I love them all.
Have you found your 'prince charming'? Share your thoughts.
Mr Married
Mr Married and I met online soon after I separated from my husband. He was an enigma, this one. He had a photo on his profile, but it gave nothing away. Hand in front of his face, I could tell two things about him: he was a big man and he had good hair. Talking to him was a pleasure. He was quick, bright, funny and wise. He encouraged me to start taking charge of my life.
It didn’t take long to fall in love with the fantasy that was Mr Married. Of course, at the time, I had no idea he was married. One night, while chatting online, I said: “Let me ask you this: have you ever been married?” He said, “Still am.”
I shook from the revelation. The knowledge that I was doing exactly what had broken my marriage apart. And then I continued doing it, because I thought two things: 1) I had never met him and probably never would and 2) I enjoyed his company and I deserved a little happiness.
About 2 months later, I met him in person. It was familiar and odd and wonderful all at the same time. I’ve met his wife since then, who accepts his online chatting as a hobby of his. Over the past 6 months, we’ve become the best of friends, Mr Married and I.
But he’ll never be my prince charming.
Mr Smooth
Mr Smooth and I met on the same site as I met Mr Married. I was drawn to his face, which, if I’m honest, is remarkably similar to my ex’s. We flirted for a month or two online and toyed with the idea of meeting. One night, he phoned me and said he was heading in my direction. Heart in my mouth, I gave him directions to my house.
I wouldn’t encourage it, this inviting strangers into your home, but fortunately for me, this one turned out not to be a serial killer. Mr Smooth and I got on well. Both the sex and the conversation was good. But something was missing. I felt no emotional connection with this man.
He’d never be my prince charming.
Mr Toy Boy
And then there was Mr Toy Boy. Eight years younger than me, I hesitated before making contact online with him. What would he want with a divorced 40 year old, I thought. And yet want me he did. He was gorgeous and he adored me.
About a month into our online relationship, he flew to Cape Town on business and we met at my house for dinner.
Gorgeous? Check. Funny? Check. Adoring? Check. In a relationship? Check.
He would never be my Prince Charming.
Mr Sexy
I met Mr Sexy through a mutual friend. We work in a way that none of the previous non-Prince Charmings ever could. I get his jokes, he loves to make me laugh and we enjoy each other’s bodies in a way I never thought possible. Cliched, I know, but the truth.
But he’ll never be my Prince Charming. I’ve realised this since meeting him: I’m too old to carve anyone’s name in my desk and endlessly practise writing my new signature. As charming as Mr Sexy is, I’m realistic about who I am, who he is and what works for us. And what works for us is keeping him mostly separate from my kids, enjoying his company when I have a free night or two, laughing like a loon at his jokes and having the best sex of my life.
I love them all
All my non-Prince Charmings have given me a gift. They’ve taught me that there is no Prince Charming, that no one will come to rescue me, and that I’m a strong, independent, single woman who knows what she wants out of life. For that, I love them all.
Have you found your 'prince charming'? Share your thoughts.
