In love with a colleague? Here's what to know

• Relationships psychologist John Aiken advises care, but believes that office romances have some unmatched benefits.
• What begins as harmless flirting might quickly escalate into something more serious.
• There's evidence that when we're more connected with the people around us, we're better employees - after all, we don't want to get fired at the same company where our spouse works.

It may be a cliché, but most of us have brought it to life at some point in our careers. We've engaged in that most loaded of workplace indulgences: the office romance.

Given we spend a significant proportion of our waking hours at work, it's not all that surprising. What starts out as subtle flirting can easily spiral into something more serious. Nor is it necessarily a bad thing: unions that begin at the office are statistically more likely to develop into successful long-term relationships than those that arise from, say, drunken nightclub encounters.

After all, working together allows you to get to know the object of your affections in a normal, everyday environment before you have to face the awkward pressure of that formal first date. But combining romantic and professional interests can also be a minefield - and it could even cost you your job. So it pays to take sensible precautions before you move from the boardroom to the bedroom.

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Relationships psychologist John Aiken (johnaiken.com. au) advocates proceeding with caution but also believes office romances have some unbeatable advantages. "You get to know and be around a potential partner without showing your hand," says Aiken. "It's a really good opportunity to see what they are like with peers, how they work, and what their values are before deciding whether to take action."

Helaine Olen, co-author of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding - and Managing - Romance on the Job, agrees. She points out that as most of us work long hours and start serious relationships later in life, offices have surpassed universities and local communities as hotspots for finding a future spouse.

Indeed, surveys suggest that up to 80 percent of us have had a dalliance from our desks. "There's the stereotype of an office romance - which is quickies by the photocopier - but that's just a myth," says Olen. "If anything, it's flirting that has gone on for months or years, so the couple really know each other well beforehand." A key factor, she says, is that "people working in the same industry tend to have the same interests and share similar backgrounds." Olen points to research that shows one in five couples who meet through work will go on to enjoy a long-term relationship - a significantly better rate than locations including bars, churches, and personal ads.

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And how does an office romance affect your work performance? You might assume that being able to gaze lustfully at, interact with and email your boyfriend from just down the hall would have a distracting, negative impact. Surprisingly, this doesn't seem to be the case.

"There's evidence that when we are better engaged with people around us, we are better employees - we don't want to get sacked at the same place as our spouse is working," explains Olen. This is reinforced by research from the UK's Westminster University, which found dating colleagues were just as productive as their unattached counterparts.

But surely there are pitfalls, right? "You get mighty sick of each other very quickly," laughs Olen. "And for women especially, there's a risk of being taken less seriously."

Another peril is that your relationship may become a goldfish bowl for gossiping co-workers. "How open you are with affection, how you talk to each other, and whether you air your dirty laundry in the office can be pitfalls," says Aiken.

"If you're thinking about getting into [a relationship), you need to be on the same page and have clear boundaries." Indeed, keeping your relationship private may be the best way to give it a chance to flourish without external pressures. So the 33 percent of workers who admitted to career website Vault.com to having indulged in a tryst in the office should take note: "The less you give [your colleagues] to talk about, the better," advises Olen.

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This is especially true if you go out with your boss. Virtually all experts advise against dating a superior due to the potential for perceived or real) nepotism, criticism from colleagues, and even sexual harassment claims. According to the Vault Office Romance Survey 2011, almost 40 percent of us have felt a workmate gained a professional advantage because of a romantic relationship within the office.

Olen acknowledges the boss-subordinate relationship is risky yet ironically may be the best poised to last. "There's survey data to show they are more successful than other office romances," she says. "My best guess is because they are damn sure about it." One high-profile example she cites: Microsoft chairman Bill Gates and his employee-turned-wife Melinda.

Properly handle a romantic break-up - things get messy, people get angry, tears get shed. And if you have to go through that ugly process with someone you find yourself sharing a lift with the next morning, and the morning after, and the morning after... well, how do you handle that?

"What we suggest people do is create a break-up prenup'," says Olen. "When you are first dating, talk about how you would behave if you broke up and make a preemptive agreement. Agree on things like not talking about the other person. Otherwise, behave very professionally. Call your girlfriend when you are at home if you need to cry. You have a job to do."

And be cautious about electronic communication. At best you could lose your early love letters or provide some titillation to your IT workers or boss. At worst, your correspondence could be used against you in court or an employment tribunal. "Be really careful about putting pictures on Facebook or tweeting about your great night out together. It doesn't look professional," says Olen.

Finally, if you do form a happy partnership, resist the temptation to let work and romance seep together. "Don't talk about work outside the office," urges Aiken. "It's very important that you are able to switch off." And given you may end up sharing a bed, a home, a daily commute, and a workplace with your partner, a little time apart may not be a bad thing either.

READ MORE | 5 things to keep in mind when searching for love and a solid relationship

SO YOU WANT TO DATE A COWORKER...

Take this advice from relationships psychologist John Aitken and author Helaine Olen

• Know your HR policies.

Check whether your company has a rule on intra-office couplings before asking a colleague out. You don't need to report a first date, but be prepared to inform your boss before they hear it from someone else.

•  Set some boundaries.

Pet names, hair stroking, nuzzles... keep it at home. This should go without saying, but we all know how irrational love can make us behave at times.

• Talk about a break-up.

It may seem counterintuitive when you've just got together, but this insurance policy could prevent trouble down the track.

• Don't air your dirty laundry at work.

That means no fights - not even verbal tiffs. And don't complain about each other or reveal intimate details to colleagues. You never know what might come back to burn you.

• Avoid getting involved with the boss.

Ideally, you would connect with someone on the same level as you (and preferably from a different department to simplify matters).

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