Share

'That's a red flag': Expert explains why you keep hiding things from your partner

accreditation
0:00
play article
Subscribers can listen to this article
Getty Images.
Getty Images.
SolStock
  • When you hide things from your partner, it affects the relationship.
  • Without honesty in the relationship, the foundation crumbles.
  • Relationship coach and matchmaker Thalia Ouimet weighs in.
  • For more lifestyle news, go to the News24 Life front page.

You know when you get into a relationship, and there are certain habits you or your partner may have that may be a deal breaker to each other? However, instead of ending things, you both strike a deal to let go of the habits because you really like each other. Of course, this seems like a great idea initially, as you both are committed to each other and want a peaceful relationship.

While letting go of these habits, you change your mind and think, 'If I hide it well enough, I could have my cake and eat it too'. This works well until you're caught out, and your relationship is almost ruined, thanks to broken trust. 

This is common behaviour among couples, and we spoke to an expert about the danger this poses. 

READ MORE | Keep jumping from one relationship to the next? Dating coach says, 'you end up paying for it later'

We asked relationship coach and matchmaker Thalia Ouimet to weigh in on how this behaviour can become detrimental to a relationship.

Thalia has said that honesty is an absolute must in relationships.

"Your partner is there to help you in any way he or she can, and they're also supposed to accept you for who you are and your flaws."

READ MORE | Is it possible to manifest your soulmate? An expert says you can with these principles

One of the main reasons people hide things from their significant other is fear of judgement, which can lead to a cycle where lies are covered up with more lies as honesty is met with negativity and trust slowly erodes from the dynamic.

"For people that do not trust their partners, that's a red flag because trust is the most important subject matter in building a foundation with someone," Thalia adds.

The behaviour of hiding things from your partner stems from issues within the relationship that aren't being dealt with. Such issues include the already discussed trust, honesty and communication. "If a partner in the relationship is not being honest, telling the truth and communicating, this leads to more issues within the relationship."

READ MORE | Your partner wants to take things slow? Expert shares what this could mean

Thalia adds that those issues lead to the relationship becoming unstable and unhealthy. If you and your partner have gone through this, there is a glimpse of hope; however, only if both partners are willing to do the work and implement honesty to rebuild their trust.

Thalia strongly advises to aim for honesty.

"Honesty is the best policy, and if your partner is being judgmental, then the best thing you can do is to acknowledge the judgment and ask your partner which one they prefer: not knowing and living in bliss or knowing and dealing with the information." 

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
Who we choose to trust can have a profound impact on our lives. Join thousands of devoted South Africans who look to News24 to bring them news they can trust every day. As we celebrate 25 years, become a News24 subscriber as we strive to keep you informed, inspired and empowered.
Join News24 today
heading
description
username
Show Comments ()
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE