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So I’ve decided to take an extended vacation from dating, thanks to these dodgy first dates disasters.
The radical racist
*Brad was the worst first date - ever. Instinctively I had the urge to bolt when I saw him, but he just screamed: “great braai story”. Anyway, he spent the evening berating service staff, accused a waitress of giving him a dirty glass (that’s vapour, Einstein) and ranted about the country going to the dogs (something about Julius).
Oh, and people’s ability to do their job was directly related to their race, he said. He lasted 15 minutes after I realised that (a) this wasn’t the 1980s, and b) I wasn’t being Punk’d.
Who’s your daddy?
Steve didn’t stand a chance. It’s never a good sign when you rock up on a date and he looks like your dad. Surely there are laws against this? He slouched over his chair like a Guess model, which made me wonder if he had vertebrae problems.
The evening was pretty short-lived, peppered with my questions and his one-word answers. After it felt like I was pulling teeth for an hour, I gave up.
Sons of Anarchy
I’m all for blind dates, especially those arranged by a well-intentioned friend. Look, I don’t want to date Gabriel Macht (okay, that’s a lie, every girl wants to date a man like him) but there are certain issues that are deal-breakers. An extended hour conversation about your ex is one of them.
James was actually really sweet and not too shabby looking. But the ex, and his penchant for driving topless - at break-neck speed - on his motorbike, made me give him a miss.
Am I disillusioned? Never. Will I ride off into the sunset with my prince? Sure. I just need to take a break before I get back in the saddle.
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The radical racist
*Brad was the worst first date - ever. Instinctively I had the urge to bolt when I saw him, but he just screamed: “great braai story”. Anyway, he spent the evening berating service staff, accused a waitress of giving him a dirty glass (that’s vapour, Einstein) and ranted about the country going to the dogs (something about Julius).
Oh, and people’s ability to do their job was directly related to their race, he said. He lasted 15 minutes after I realised that (a) this wasn’t the 1980s, and b) I wasn’t being Punk’d.
Who’s your daddy?
Steve didn’t stand a chance. It’s never a good sign when you rock up on a date and he looks like your dad. Surely there are laws against this? He slouched over his chair like a Guess model, which made me wonder if he had vertebrae problems.
The evening was pretty short-lived, peppered with my questions and his one-word answers. After it felt like I was pulling teeth for an hour, I gave up.
Sons of Anarchy
I’m all for blind dates, especially those arranged by a well-intentioned friend. Look, I don’t want to date Gabriel Macht (okay, that’s a lie, every girl wants to date a man like him) but there are certain issues that are deal-breakers. An extended hour conversation about your ex is one of them.
James was actually really sweet and not too shabby looking. But the ex, and his penchant for driving topless - at break-neck speed - on his motorbike, made me give him a miss.
Am I disillusioned? Never. Will I ride off into the sunset with my prince? Sure. I just need to take a break before I get back in the saddle.
Follow Women24 on Twitter and like us on Facebook.
