- One local TikTok creator made a series of videos announcing his admiration for a fellow user of the app.
- This user went to the extent of saying he had a vision from God that his crush is indeed his life long partner.
- There have been other users locally and international who boldly pursue their crushes publicly.
- A relationship coach warns to be cautious of harassment.
In many cases when a man pursues a woman for a romantic relationship he tries to keep it discreet incase things do not go his way. Maybe he will tell his friends or maybe his siblings but it's rare for him to publicly share his feelings for a stranger to the whole world.
But, it seems like things might be changing and people have found much more creative ways to get their crush's attention.
TikTok user Lindomar, he has decided to use his social media creativity to make a move on the desired love of his life, Lelo, who is also an active user of the social media platform.
Lindomar started his series of macking videos by announcing that he is interested in having a romantic relationship with Lelo and that her boyfriend should show himself so he can know whether to back off or not.
@leendomar #ALL_IM_SAYING_IS if you know him tag him ?????? #lindomar_vids ? original sound - Lindomar
After Lelo responded, confirming that she is single, Lindomar continued with a series of videos explaining why he believes that him and Lelo are meant to be. He claims he had a vision from God where He showed him that she is indeed his lifelong romantic partner.
He concluded his video series by saying he arranged sunflowers at Woolworths Mall of Africa for Lelo that she can pick up every month because he noticed from her profile that those are her favourite flowers. It seems like Lelo recently collected her first bunch.
@_nompumelelo_m I actually got them cabanga… ??. #Lelo?? ? original sound - Lelo??
In the comment sections, bystanders are egging on this supposed budding romance.
In another instance, user Mzikayise Ngcobo shared his admiration and interest in fellow TikTok user MaShandu. Similar to Lindomar, he had a screenshot of one of her posts overlaid on his video where he is professing his love.
Over in U.S TikTok, user Hope Woodard responded to a video by Kyle - with username itskylep - where he was talking about being "girl sober". In her response video, Hope commented on his blue eyes and curly hair. Kyle took this as an opportunity to subtly 'shoot his shot'. But, Hope 'friendzoned' him in a response video - to the disappointment of the comment section.
This raises the question, are these public advances on TikTok cute or creepy?
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We got in touch with Paula Quinsee, who is a relationship and life coach from Engaged Humans, to find out what she has to say about these proposing tactics.
“You can gauge from the perspective person that you pursuing,” Paula says because some people are active users on social media and some people prefer keeping their lives private. So, for some people who are comfortable with having their lives publicly displayed on social media, they might not mind this type of attention but for others it can be inappropriate.
Paula also warns of harassment towards desired romantic partners.
“It starts sounding like and looking like and feeling like harassment when you don’t respect someone’s boundaries.” Paula explains how showing up unexpectedly to someone’s house or workplace, stalking them on social media and being intrusive and invasive can be signs of harassment and abuse, and men should take caution in pursuing their desired partner in this manner.
She advises that people should just be themselves and consistently put in effort in a respectable way.
“I think its about being authentic and real in your behaviour and your actions and being consistent in your actions. If you are trying to be somebody you not, its unsustainable and over a period of time your true intentions will start to show.”
So, it is not only about the fancy gifts and lavish dates, your personality plays a major role as well, she adds.
Paula also says people should be careful on how long they put in the effort.
“Within three to six months you should have a very good idea whether that person is interested in you or not. In other words, whether they are starting to reciprocate.”
Ask yourself, do they respond to your texts and calls? Are they willing to go out on dates and engage with you? Or are they always avoiding you and making up excuses for not wanting to engage with you within three to six months of you pursuing them? That’s a sign that she might not be interested in you.
