The list of questions below should have been discussed and agreed upon before you plan to take the plunge into marriage.

*Take our poll at the bottom of the article and find out which question women think is the most important.*

Being able to communicate, compromise and agree on these important issues will avoid unexpected disappointments and disagreements later on.

  • Who will be responsible for the care and maintenance of our home and garden?
  • What proportion of our monthly income will we spend on home payments and maintenance?
  • Can we both live with the other’s level of hygiene and organisation?


•    How much do we earn together at the moment? What is the forecast for the next five and ten years?

•    Who is responsible for bringing in the main salary? Will this change over the next few years?

•    What is our financial goal? (Try to decide on an actual annual sum for which to strive)

•    How do we plan on working together to achieve this goal?

•    How much does each of us currently spend on food, clothing, accommodation, insurance, vehicles and so on?

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•    How will our annual or monthly expenditure on each of these items need to change once we are married? Is this realistic?

•    What hours will each of us need to work?

•    If these hours are unusual (very long or during the night, for example), is the other one happy with this arrangement?

•    Is there any way that one of us could stay at home if the need or desire arose?

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•    Are we each happy with the other’s level of ambition?

•    Are we, as individuals, happy to give love in a physical, emotional and sexual way?

•    Can my partner feel that I love him or her when we are having sex?

•    Am I happy with how often we have sex?

•    When I feel that we are having too much or too little sex, does my partner react in a way that satisfies me?

•    How long is too long without sex? Do we both agree on this?

•    Who will buy the groceries and, therefore, decide what we eat?



•    Will we eat meals together? Which ones?

•    Who will prepare meals and clean up afterwards?

•    Are we happy with the eating, health and wellness habits of the other? (e.g. does he exercise enough? Is she smoking too much?)

•    How much will my family feature in the marriage?

•    How often will we visit our respective families? Will we do this together as a couple?

•    Will relatives that live further afield be invited to come and stay with us? For how long?

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•    Do we both feel the same about whether to have children and do we agree on how many we want?

•    When will we start trying to have a family?

•    What religion will our children be taught?

•    What kind of relationship do we want our children to have with our own parents and the parents of each other?

•    Will one of us stay at home when we start a family?

•    Do we like one another’s friends enough not to interfere with their relationships?

•    Will we want to become more involved in our community or circles of friends? Or do we need to cut back on social commitments to spend time with one another?

•    Will we share the same religion? If not, are we completely happy with and respectful of the religious affiliation of our partner?

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