Jade Zwane answers City Press readers' questions about a foot fetish, conflicting music preference during sex and oral sex.
Question: I have a foot fetish, but the person I’m currently seeing is someone who doesn’t really have well-kept feet … I do really like this person. How do I go about getting around this because her feet put me off?
Jade: I suggest that, to avoid offending your girlfriend, you treat her to a pedicure or spa day that includes a foot treatment. Make sure you compliment her on her pedicured feet, and tell her how much you like and appreciate the look.
Question: How do I encourage my partner to listen to hardcore hip-hop music when we make love? It helps me to focus for longer, but throws her off.
Jade: I understand that hip-hop may be a turn-on for you during sex, but if it throws your partner off, the two of you should compromise and find a genre of music that does it for both of you. Alternatively, try playing no music at all and listening to each others pleasurable moans.
Question: My girlfriend offered to give me oral sex and she wanted to put lubrication in her mouth to do it. I found this strange and we ended up not doing it. Please help.
Jade: It is not unusual to use lubricant during oral sex. It’s important and more pleasurable to be well lubricated. Sometimes, a partner may opt to use a flavoured lubricant to lessen the natural odour of the genitals, especially if you’re doing this first thing in the morning or at the end of the day before a bath or shower.
Question: I’m 24 and my girlfriend is 21 years old. We’ve been dating for five years and have a three-year-old son. My girlfriend has lost interest in sexual intercourse, and I sometimes feel like I have to beg and force the issue of our being intimate, which is now putting a strain on our relationship because I’m sexually frustrated.
Jade: I’m sorry to hear of your sexual frustration. Sex is not only about the activity in the bedroom or the act itself. It’s important that you and your girlfriend get along outside of the bedroom. It’s crucial that you resolve any lingering issues or arguments before you can expect to have a fulfilling sex life.
It’s a cliché because it’s true – little acts of kindness go a long way. Do you help with your child? She may simply be exhausted from all the work she does, and she has a toddler to take care of to boot. Also, make an effort when you want to seduce her. And keep things interesting by being spontaneous when you can be. Good luck.
- Do you have a question for Jade? SMS the keyword SEX and your question to 35697. You can also email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name and province. SMSes cost R1.50