Woman recounts cyber bullying nightmare: ‘They posted my picture on Facebook and wrote nasty things’
Now, she tells the story of how she finally overcame her insecurities and healed from her cyber bullying nightmare.
This is her story.
“I come from a very small town called Peddie KwaTuku in the Eastern Cape. I have always had a bit of weight on me but that never bothered me until I was 16 and in Grade 10. An incident of cyber bullying left me feeling rejected, broken and insecure for most of my adult life.
One day in 2014 I decided to log onto Facebook and that’s when I was met with a tagged picture of myself. I clicked on the tag and viewed all the comments. To my shock I saw people commenting nasty and hurtful things about my body.
I vividly remember someone saying my boobs looked as if they had been sucked on by pigs.
Since that day, I became a laughing stock at my school and quickly lost my friends, confidence and self-esteem.
I had always been a big girl with big breasts but now my school mates were making fun of me for it.
Going to school became a nightmare for me as I had lost a lot of friends and only remained with two who would try to stand up for me when everyone stopped talking to me. But eventually when I could not bear the pain of being made fun of and with the teachers not doing anything to help, I decided to drop out of school.
The following year I went to Mdantsane and I continued with my grade 10. I even completed my grade 12 there and enjoyed school since there was no one would laugh or make fun of me.
Now, I am at varsity I am still struggling to make friends, I cannot even date any guy because I do not know what he will say about my body. I am always alone, and I find myself distancing myself from people because I have been hurt so much in the past.
After meeting two friends who would later encourage me and lead me to religion which has really helped me see myself in a new light, I am now changing and becoming a more confident version of me.
Today I have forgiven everyone, even though it was not easy because they made me feel useless and lonely. Some of those people didn’t even know me but they felt the need to hurt me, but I pray every day for a forgiving heart.
I want to say thank you to my family more especially my mom and grandmother who used to force me to go to school when I was afraid to face everyone who bullied me.
I didn’t want to tell the world about my story but my dear friends Buhle Makaza and Siyamthanda Yengani told me it needed to be told so that it can help other people.
I am learning to love myself now, almost four years later and it is a continuous project but what I am sure of is that every pain has an expiry date."
This story was submitted to Drum and minimally edited. If you have an amazing or heartbreaking personal story to tell email Pam@drum.co.za.