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26 years ago was 1988 - back in the good old days when life was much better.
If you were allegedly white.
But, was it really?
Money: Inflation was running between 35 and 40%. So brannas and Coke would have increased stupidly since Christmas.
Barclays quit. Now, there is FNB - enjoy. And while you at it, try to get a loan. By the way, what is the mortgage rate?
Bend over because here comes a big carrot.
Also, your taxes, with an added levy for the Weermag, will kick your ass!
Motoring: Well, GM has been bought out by Delta (i.e. the government), and so you can continue to buy second-rate Astras and Kadetts.
SAMCOR embraces Ford and Mazda, while VW, BMW, Benz, Nissan, Toyota remain. But you think you can get the latest technologies? Norrafok - because the fuel, mixed with ethanol, won't work in the latest engines. So they won't work here. Sorry.
Unleaded? Dream on, pal.
No Renault, Citroen, Chrysler, Peugeot, Volvo, Seat, Alfa etc etc etc, as they'd pulled out.
Sport: Well, no international rugby, soccer, cricket or athletics etc, due to the boycotts. Yep, play against a rebel side, and beat them, but it ain't the same, is it?
And after re-admission to international sport, please remember how almost everyone got caned.
Kulcha: NO DStv (but you won't need it, as there's fokol sport to watch, and Equity won't sell anything British), no decent bands will tour, and many bands won't allow their stuff to be sold here anyway; the shit you see on TV is second-rate US soap trash. Oh, wait... we have that now.
And there's no foreign orchestras, plays, or musicals. Because the likes of LLoyd Webber say 'f*k jou'.
Day to day: Well, as a chap, you just had to await your 'camp' notice. Three months national service, boet. and screw jou, mister employer.
On civvie street, you had to watch it as well, as those naughty "bantus" were blowing up Wimpy bars etc. So everyone was paranoid.
Travel outside SA? Yep, to other pariah states - and some places in Europe, but forget Africa, or the US without ripping money out your bum. OH, and did we mention the exchange rate, which saw its arse circa 1985, thanks to gubberment intervention, to stop honkies legging it, and suddenly anything imported was three times the price?
Oh, and those Levis, Nikes, and Reeboks? Forget it bru, boycott again!
Want to see a movie? Nope - it will be cut to ribbons or banned.
Want to to be gay? Expect a criminal record, you despicable moffie/koeksister if you dare kiss your partner in public!
Books - only what they let you read. Wilbur Smith gets a few banned - not for the rumpo-pumpo, as they claimed, but for actually describing the Fordsburg Uprising, and the SA Communists. (This is pure conjecture on my part - the rumpo scenes weren't very good - not up to Wilbur's normal onanistic standards).
Boobs and butts? No chance.
Though 'ethnic' magazines like Drum were allowed to show tits. Something about cultural values etc.
Yep, seems like I prefer 2014 to 1988.
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If you were allegedly white.
But, was it really?
Money: Inflation was running between 35 and 40%. So brannas and Coke would have increased stupidly since Christmas.
Barclays quit. Now, there is FNB - enjoy. And while you at it, try to get a loan. By the way, what is the mortgage rate?
Bend over because here comes a big carrot.
Also, your taxes, with an added levy for the Weermag, will kick your ass!
Motoring: Well, GM has been bought out by Delta (i.e. the government), and so you can continue to buy second-rate Astras and Kadetts.
SAMCOR embraces Ford and Mazda, while VW, BMW, Benz, Nissan, Toyota remain. But you think you can get the latest technologies? Norrafok - because the fuel, mixed with ethanol, won't work in the latest engines. So they won't work here. Sorry.
Unleaded? Dream on, pal.
No Renault, Citroen, Chrysler, Peugeot, Volvo, Seat, Alfa etc etc etc, as they'd pulled out.
Sport: Well, no international rugby, soccer, cricket or athletics etc, due to the boycotts. Yep, play against a rebel side, and beat them, but it ain't the same, is it?
And after re-admission to international sport, please remember how almost everyone got caned.
Kulcha: NO DStv (but you won't need it, as there's fokol sport to watch, and Equity won't sell anything British), no decent bands will tour, and many bands won't allow their stuff to be sold here anyway; the shit you see on TV is second-rate US soap trash. Oh, wait... we have that now.
And there's no foreign orchestras, plays, or musicals. Because the likes of LLoyd Webber say 'f*k jou'.
Day to day: Well, as a chap, you just had to await your 'camp' notice. Three months national service, boet. and screw jou, mister employer.
On civvie street, you had to watch it as well, as those naughty "bantus" were blowing up Wimpy bars etc. So everyone was paranoid.
Travel outside SA? Yep, to other pariah states - and some places in Europe, but forget Africa, or the US without ripping money out your bum. OH, and did we mention the exchange rate, which saw its arse circa 1985, thanks to gubberment intervention, to stop honkies legging it, and suddenly anything imported was three times the price?
Oh, and those Levis, Nikes, and Reeboks? Forget it bru, boycott again!
Want to see a movie? Nope - it will be cut to ribbons or banned.
Want to to be gay? Expect a criminal record, you despicable moffie/koeksister if you dare kiss your partner in public!
Books - only what they let you read. Wilbur Smith gets a few banned - not for the rumpo-pumpo, as they claimed, but for actually describing the Fordsburg Uprising, and the SA Communists. (This is pure conjecture on my part - the rumpo scenes weren't very good - not up to Wilbur's normal onanistic standards).
Boobs and butts? No chance.
Though 'ethnic' magazines like Drum were allowed to show tits. Something about cultural values etc.
Yep, seems like I prefer 2014 to 1988.
Follow Women24 on Twitter and like us on Facebook.
