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It’s been an emotional few days for singer Jessie J.
After sharing with her Instagram followers that she had suffered a miscarriage, the singer broke down on stage during an intimate performance.
“I’ve never felt more alone than I have felt in the past week,” she told the crowd at The Hotel Café in Los Angeles.
Earlier in the day, before the low-key gig, Jessie revealed in an emotional post she had gone for her third scan and her doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat.
The 33-year-old decided to have a baby alone after splitting from dancer and choreographer Max Pham Nguyen in October after dating for seven months.
The Price Tag singer says she went on her motherhood journey on her own “because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short”.
“To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again,” she wrote in the caption of a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test.
“I'm still in shock; the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong and I know I will be OK.”
She added she wanted to go ahead with the show “because I know singing tonight will help me”.
After taking to the stage, Jessie told fans that 2021 “has been hands down the hardest year I’ve ever had to go through”.
In December last year, she was diagnosed with Ménière's disease, a chronic disorder that affects the inner ear and can lead to dizzy spells. Because of this she temporarily lost her hearing and voice.
“Then I lost my baby,” she continued.
“I know I'm going to be OK because there is really nothing else to choose in the way I live.”
The singer also revealed that she was in “quite a bit of pain” and felt insecure because her abdominal area was swollen.
In 2019 Jessie told BBC News that she had been diagnosed with adenomyosis five years earlier.
Adenomyosis is when the endometrial tissue that normally lines the uterus grows into the muscular wall of the uterus. Women who suffer from the condition usually have difficulty getting pregnant and an increased risk of miscarriage.
Back then Jessie said she made lifestyle changes – like changing her diet – in the hope it would help her conceive.
“I was told I can't have children, but I don't believe it,” she told radio station Heart at the time. “I believe in miracles. I haven't given up.”
After sharing the news of her miscarriage, Jessie said knowing she’s not the only woman to experience the loss but it gives her strength.
“I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse,” the singer wrote.
“I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don't.”
Sources: dailymail.co.uk, bbc.com, hitc.com
