- No matter who came before your relationship with your significant other, there are ways to keep things spicy in the bedroom.
- Tintillating blow jobs, dirty talk and self-confidence are ways to up your game.
- Some men enjoy when a woman dresses up for them.
You know when you fall in love and everything is beautiful? There’s a spring in your step and the birds seem to be singing from the top of every tree. You don’t need food because you can live on love alone. It’s all in soft focus, simply bliss…
And then one day your world implodes; you wake up to realise that before you came into his life, your dream man had another life. He had kissed, stroked and made love to someone else (in fact, knowing the male race, more than likely to a string of sisters!)
Nothing pops the love bubble quite like this knowledge, especially if you torment yourself with scenarios of him and the ex in a passionate embrace. And if that ex is still hovering in the background, playing games with his mind (and possibly other parts of his anatomy), it’s time to pull out that bag of tricks and make him forget there ever was another.
Here are three ways to be better in bed than his ex and remain on top!
1. Mind-blowing blow jobs
They say the world is divided into two types of men – those who love blow jobs, and those who are dead. It is incredible how quickly a man forgets about anything when he is treated to a good, slow, mouthwatering blow job with a great technique.
Some of you out there might go “ughhh!”, but here’s the deal. If you can master or should I say mistress this one, he’ll always think of you.
“I didn’t particularly like giving blow jobs until l overheard my man tell his friend how his ex was the ‘blow-job queen’,” recalls Nonhle, a television scriptwriter.
“At first I was really upset, and then I thought: right, it’s time to broaden my horizons. I read a few books on the subject, spoke to my girlfriends, and I soon realised it wasn’t rocket science to get it right. The next time we were together I practised my new techniques. Needless to say, it really worked! We’re still together, and I know for certain these days the only queen in his life is me.”
READ MORE | 4 ways you and your man can have more fun with porn
- Blow him away with your self-confidence and self-knowledge.
- Find out what he loves and if consistent with your values, give it to him–but, more importantly, introduce him to things you love.
- Once you get a handle on the guy’s moves, introduce your moves – gently, sensitively and non-critically. This will keep him focused on you, and the unexpected will totally capture his attention!
- Of course making him fall in love with you will clinch the deal.
Tips for perfection
According to sexologist Dr Elna McIntosh, giving a great blow job can be easily achieved by doing the following:
- Get comfortable.
- Start by teasing his penis – kiss, breathe lightly, whisper, tickle.
- Use your saliva as a lubricant.
- Stroke him with your hands while sucking.
- Twist your hand as you move up and down on the shaft. Switch hands occasionally for variation.
- Licking and nibbling is very stimulating.
- Flick your tongue back and forth and all around as you’re sucking.
- Pop an ice cube or a hot beverage in your mouth or a mint for extra stimulation.
- Don’t just settle for what you know. Get creative. Humming during the act will give a vibrating sensation that will drive him crazy!
2. Get down and talk dirty
Put a hundred men in a room and ask them who enjoys their woman talking dirty in bed, and 99 will probably shout “Me!” We’re not talking about suddenly reaching orgasmic ecstasy in the middle of a shopping mall and screeching. “Oh, oh, daddy! Yes! Puh-lease!”
This works best in the confines of the bedroom or wherever else you get down and hot.
For starters, nothing pleases a man more than, while in the throes of passion, you let him know what you like and how you’re feeling about the action.
“Oh yes, baby, like that! Harder, harder… yes!” may sound like a bad soft-porn movie in stark daylight, but under the sheets anything goes. Describing how you feel about his manhood will definitely raise the passion levels.
“I have the most incredible sex life with my man because by day I wear specs and work in an office dressed in suits, but by night I become a little sex demon,” laughs Lindiwe.
“The things that come out of my mouth! Oh boy, I don’t think your mag could print them, but needless to say they are baaad!”
READ MORE | Sex buddy chronicles - 4 women share their experiences with no-strings attached relationships
Tips for perfection
- Read some erotica and get familiar with sexual terms that don’t compromise your sense of who you are. In bed you can leave your coyness and shyness behind. Try and call “it” what “it” is – you won’t get arrested. Promise!
3. Dress up, look the part
“I find it really sexy when a woman dresses up for me ... nice lacy underwear, a push-up bra, suspenders, stockings, etc. It’s not so much what she wears, actually. It’s that she’s gone out of her way to make the effort for me,” says Sihle Maduna*, a designer.
Let’s face it, men love it when we titillate and tease them. Why do you think so many men gravitate to girlie magazines?
It’s the aural feast they’re after. One sure way to make him forget about that ex is to simply make the effort! Lacy satin lingerie in black, red or white... anything goes – even the occasional nurse’s outfit or school uniform won’t do any harm.
“We had been going through a hard time when his ex kept calling and throwing herself at him,” recalls Khosi.
“I thought, ‘Damn, he’s my man!’ I went off to La Senza and shopped till I dropped. Well, the results were spectacular. He loved this new vampy me and agreed to put an end to all contact with the ex.”
Tips for perfection
- Making an effort to look good and enticing him with lingerie and erotic effort is a sure way to your man’s unadulterated love and devotion. And the bonus is, it will make you feel like a million bucks.
*Not their real name
